Down With Dating Disillusioned, paternal DMA, 38, 6'1, 183 lbs., green eyes, loves dogs, content to sit in contemplative silence. Seeking good egg, 30-40, womanly, non-optimistic, for whom I can open doors and canned foods. Bedroom politics unimportant.
AWOL Decorator Cunning, witty SMA, 32, 5'11, 150 lbs., self-loathing fan of well-organized seduction, enjoys renovating warehouse space. In need of urbane, savvy SFA, 24-34, devoted to social causes, wary of gov't and IKEA, shares appreciation for Soviet furniture from the 1970s.
Breakfast in Bed-Stuy Artistic Brooklynite, SMG, 25, 5'8, 160 lbs., gets off visiting new cities, site seeing, touring corporate buildings and tagging them. Hungry for down-to-earth girl to share meals with, shoplift spray paint and post bail money for me. Love is an A-Z street map. Willing to travel.
Humble Hero Energetic, dedicated SMT, 18, 5'9, 173 lbs., avoids having picture taken, otherwise socially cooperative, looking for petite SFT, someone who can make grocery shopping for bomb ingredients more interesting. Pretty feet and experience blasting unmanned lumber saws a bonus. No Buddhists.
John E. Rotten 13, SMAGTF, versatile pugilist for human liberties, outgoing, ready to mobilize, need bass player, drummer to form hardcore band. Also looking to hook up with SFA, moderately angry, preferably clean driving record, nothing too serious lovewise, to take part in rallies, smoke cloves, etc.
Czech Mate Recently moved to U.S., hoping to find love, DMA, 41, Yul Brynner looks, Gandhi sensitivity, taxidermist, enjoys reading Whitman, Delillo, Marx, Dentistry for Dummies. Desires sensitive East Coast lovely to cuddle, listen to Leonard Cohen, share Turkish hookah, list complaints about world's fate.
Don't Need Boyfriend SFFA, 21, hates selling herself like this, likes to stomp around in big boots, punk rock, badass kitty, got stitches, rarely suffers fools. Wants 25-30 SMFA who can hold his liquor and his ice cream, knows how to listen, is willing to spend all night with me at Kinko's copying literature for teach-ins. Cute butt a must.
A Little to the Left Radical SFA, 24, 5'3, 107 lbs., looking for thoughtful, leftist S or DMA, motivated by injustice, willing to stand for beliefs, more reliable than Internet connections, more comforting than my last boyfriend or Valium, watches MST3K. Will train the right man.
Animal Lover Calm and kind DFL, 29, 5'4, 112 lbs., restless eco-ethicist, loves to work in garden, cook vegetarian, seeks adorable non-adolescent DML with similar beliefs on animal liberation and how to prepare a green salad, who'll remember my birthday, make me laugh till I pee. No monastic types, please.
Brazen Hussy Dust-free, always groovin', loves the Northwest, Earth First reactionary, hosts own show: Propaganda & Variety Hour, Ch. 55, 3 a.m. Tues., slim SFFA seeks same, a little bold, in opposition of human traditions, tired of faking it, emotional baggage limited to one carryon.
Taskmistress Women's lobbyist, 34, SFF, cute, some say nit-picky, well-read, makes many lists, wants SMF, good speller, wise, intuitive, to cook with, sleepover, not mind my two alarm clocks, fit into my sched, punctual, agree with me, not use my cell to make other dates. Tattoos OK.
—Cooper Cruz
Minister of Love
This article appears in May 17-24, 2001.