And now, the next president of the United States …
- Bush threatens "World War III" if Iran gets the bomb. Easy for him to say since, if it happens, he'll fly around on his private jet for a few months while the rest of us get vaporized or adapt to a new, Road Warrior-style existence. (P.S.-Impeachment, anyone?)
- Remember the FCC hearing in Tampa back in April? The FCC heard you loud and clear, and will now completely ignore everything you said and hand all the Radio and TV stations over to Murdoch and a few others. Hope you like Fox News, because it's about to spread all over the dial.
- Blackwater's CEO says he will not "allow" his contractors to be arrested for shooting holes in dozens of innocent Iraqi citizens. Who got elected and made this guy God? Oh …
- Fly the highly-bombable skies: Airport screeners miss about 75% of all dummy bombs sent through to check the system. Still feel all warm inside when the TSA steals your lighter and nose-hair clippers?
- Brownback's out of the race. Who?
- Colbert's in the race! No introduction necessary.
- Francis Ford Coppola puts down the glass of wine, gets off his ass and rips DeNiro, Pacino and Nicholson as old and lazy. Someone having trouble getting another Godfather off the ground?
- I'm melting! Your God-awful 10-day forecast.
This article appears in Oct 17-23, 2007.