During my first year in college, I took Fundamental Math because it was an easy A (folks nicknamed it Fun-for-mentals Math) and with a schedule of Eco-1, Pre-Cal and an Accounting class at 7:25 in the f***ing morning, my GPA could use all the help it could get, given the brain cells I was murdering weekly with Bud. Got the A in Math, the rest kicked my ass. The 2010 Buccaneers remind me of my freshman year. I never tried to convince my Mom I was an A-student because I happened to ace Music Appreciation, Ballroom Dance, or Everybody Poops 101 when I struggled with "real courses". That story just wouldn't fly with that woman. In fact it would just piss her off and she'd make me do my own damn laundry. So why is everybody trying to convince themselves that the Bucs are anything more than what they are? A likeable but average to below average team that can rock and roll all night and party e-ver-y day at the frat house, will pass Basket Weaving, but fail Astronomy. Don't get me wrong, I still like the Bucs. But I also liked my old roommate Chris who used to sleep until dinner. True story.
Meanwhile, Head Coach Raheem Morris defended CB Aqib Talib's profanity laced post game tirade on an official for a bad call in the first half, calling it a "conversation".
"He didn't do anything wrong…He was just in conversation…"
Um. What?
Talib, well known for assault and battery as much as interceptions, had to be restrained by teammates after Sunday's 17-10 loss to the Ravens. As to the profanity?
"I think you guys misinterpret the way he talks. His swearing is not necessarily the swearing you guys would come across, and I'm not even sure he swore or not."
So nobody on your team does anything wrong, ever. Is anybody else as tired as I am at this continuous half-assed attempt to put birthday candles on shit?
Quicker Hits: The Florida State Seminoles put a giant pillow over the collective faces of the Florida Gators and pressed firmly until the misery of the 2010 season thankfully gave way to the sweet release of death (But wait! There's still the RC Cola Who-Gives-A-Crap Bowl); Buffalo Bills religious receiver Stevie Johnson blamed the man upstairs in a tweet for his team's loss to the Steelers where he personally dropped 5 balls (It's about time. God's been getting way too much credit for victories lately. Can I get an Amen?); An Alabama stadium employee is now an ex-employee after playing Take the Money and Run over the PA system as Cam Newton and the Auburn Tigers took the field Saturday (In an unrelated story, Raymond James Stadium will play Bad Boys at the next Bucs game. No, not the C.O.P.S theme, the Gloria Estefan hit from the 80's); Finally, the US will be facing North Korea in Group C for the Woman's World cup. You won't want to miss(le) this one. It'll be a blast. Hey-ooh!
This article appears in Nov 25 – Dec 1, 2010.