I am in hell, y’all. Home improvement hell. We have some projects happening now, which means we have limited toilets and some 5,000 metric tons of dirt in our backyard, every grain of which all four of our furry friends insist on dragging into bed every night. Our pillow talk involves discussions of Kerdi board and we whisper each other sweet nothings about the building inspectors and whether we want brushed nickel or satin finishes on our wall plates. Think of it as middle aged kink. Twenty-somethings: This is your future. It’s not all bad… but sometimes you will long for your old studio rental on the beach where all you had to do was pay rent and make sure the meth head next door didn’t steal your shit. In the meantime, though, hey, is it almost Friday? What can I do to escape all the talk of load-bearing walls?
Well, Friday brings The Florida Orchestra’s Mardi Gras in New Orleans to the Straz and Fasching to Hofbräuhaus in the ‘Burg.
Saturday arrives with a walking tour — Westwood Ho to Kenwood with St. Pete Preservation — and the Ybor Saturday Market. Get Rescued unites all the area animal rescue organizations for a daylong party in Gulfport and Weedon Island has an awesome seminar on landscaping for bees and butterflies. Lots of other good stuff, too — Red Velvet opens at freeFall Friday night, and the now-annual Fantastic Ekphrastic returns to Softwater Studios (CL’s Scott Harrell has a piece in this interdisciplinary art show). Southeastern Guide Dogs has its walkathon at Vinoy Park Saturday morning, and — this is my favorite part — David Eisenhower’s speaking at the Florida Holocaust Museum’s To Life! gala Saturday night, and he’ll accept an award on behalf of his grandfather, President Eisenhower, who was instrumental in liberating concentration camps and documenting the atrocities in case anyone ever tried to say it didn’t happen.
Not enough weekend-y goodness? Spend Sunday playing catch up — head to the Sunday morning market on St. Pete Beach, take a yoga class at The Dalí, the Iberian Rooster, the Body Electric or one of the other 77 places in Tampa Bay offering yoga. Wicked’s still playing at the Straz — seriously, why haven’t you seen it yet? — and, most importantly, somewhere my plumber is getting drunk at a bar instead of installing the coping around the pool.
If you see him, can you sober him up and direct him back towards my house?
This article appears in Feb 23 – Mar 2, 2017.