So that's how it feels to be on the delivering end of a no-hitter. Much easier on our collective corn-holes than the business end, boy howdy. 120 pitches, over 100 were fastballs according to catcher Kelly Shoppach, and the minimum 27 batters faced Matt Garza and ended up sitting their hitless asses down (one dude walked but was immediately erased by a double-play). Those who shelled out the time and money to make it to the Trop for the Monday-nighter against Detroit were not only eye-witnesses to the first no-no in team history, but were also treated to a Matt Joyce grand salami in the 6th which finally broke a nil:nil sleeper followed by an oh-by-the-way-take-that homer by Carl Crawford in the 8th. After that? All Garza. It was tough getting the overworked ticker to slow down after that. At least until the red wine and Advil PM kicked in. Congrats, Rays. Only took you 2,039 games.
Bad Bucs bluff? What do you call a converted basketball player out of Southern Miss with zero starts in the NFL? Well, if you're GM Mark Dominik, you call him the Buccaneers starting left tackle in charge of protecting Josh Freeman's back-side. Delightful. The Bucs have ceased contract talks with current starter Donald Penn, prompting an expected no-show Friday when the team reports for camp, and leaving the Buccos stuck with (papers rustling) Demar Dotson, the said Golden Eagle hoops star. Hope Freeman knows the bubble-screen. Does Vegas have a line on sacks? If so, bet the over.
Quicker Hits: Let's. Get. A little bit Rowdy; The Rowdies snapped an 8 game winless streak by beating Miami 2-0 Sunday in 102 degree heat in front of about as many fans (hard to believe I found this interesting when I was 9), apparently the pie-in-the-face celebration on Garza should have scared the hell out of us since the Marlin's Chris Coghlan is now on the DL and may need surgery for a torn meniscus suffered while smashing a pie in Wes Helms' face after a walk-off win (Somewhere Bill Gramatica is giggling his torn ACL off), and Dallas Cowboy rookie receiver Dez Bryant has decided not to participate in traditional rookie hazing by adamantly refusing to carry the pads of his veteran teammates. Add that to his record of tardiness, unprofessionalism, and diva attitude, and Bryant now has accrued enough credits to graduate from Douche University.
