Chris Giuffre is owner of St. Pete’s Galileo Studios. He tested positive for the coronavirus after working in New York. Read our Q&A below.
How have the last five or six weeks changed you as a parent?
I don’t think it’s changed us in any dramatic sense. Jen works in the school system and has summers off, and my work is freelance, so we’re used to having lots of time away from traditional work obligations, and all being together.
Editor’s note: This portrait is part of Sandra Döhnert Bourne’s “I Miss Us, St. Pete: A social distance photo essay from afar.” Get links the the full photo essay and more Q&As here.
Moreover, when he was a toddler, our son was diagnosed with a rare cancer that required extensive and intensive treatment (he’s fully recovered and well, BTW), that consumed our attention for over a year. So you could say we’ve had some experience with the dread and anxiety of not knowing what’s next. Our daughter was a newborn at the time, so we really had our hands full.
In all I feel like we’ve had some experiences in the past that have enabled us to manage the fears and anxieties that come with this, as well as the downtime, and being together. It doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and sunshine over here—it’s still tough, and requires empathy, and patience, but overall I don’t think we’ve had to dramatically change our approach, or our outlook as parents.
How’s e-learning going? Any tips or questions about being more effective homeschool parents?
Ha! Now this is the $64,000 question, isn’t it?!
So, the kids are teens now, and both are in magnet programs with relatively heavy workloads. Our typical school days were a whirlwind of activities and homework, without much time to slow down and “just be”, before having to wind down to bed. It’s nice now, to have a little breathing room, but we’ve found that without the regimen of being in school, and class, with peers and teachers, it’s just as easy to fall behind if they don’t stay on top of it. It’s just for different reasons.
However, we are now able to more authentically check in daily with our kids. So, we just try to stay as engaged with them as much possible, often to their annoyance, but I think they get it. We have a couple mandatory physical activity breaks during the day, where we walk around the block, and work in the yard. I think that helps.
I suppose in retrospect, it’s not all that different from having toddlers, but it’s less a matter of keeping them engaged, than it is keeping them focused, and making sure they get as much “IRL” time as possible.
Jen feels we’ve learned more about our children as learners.
“We all take for granted the scaffolding done by teachers and how much students learn from other children in class—asking questions, discussions of content, and the energy of who is understanding and who isn’t. Home education takes more discipline to stay organized and self-directed. Lists help.”
Carina suggests writing down all your assignments, and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by other things. Dante appreciates being able to turn homework in at midnight.
How are you talking to your kids about the coronavirus?
I was in New York City the first two weeks of March, installing art at the Armory Show. When it was time to return I wasn’t sick, but I had a feeling I had been exposed, I mean, how could I not, right? So, from the moment I got home we re-instituted certain protocols that we employed when Dante had zero immune system after his cancer treatments (at that time, we made ourselves a bit of a nuisance to his doctors and nurses, because information was the only power we had.)
I spoke with the kids directly, and openly about what was happening. I’ve been transparent with them from the beginning about how serious this is, and that there’s a good chance one of us, possibly all of us, could get sick, but that it was unlikely that they would get very sick. I came down with what felt like the flu three days later. It was relatively mild, and passed quickly in four days, but then the cough came… It was just like the one I get from my seasonal allergies, but at this point I was like, “Fuck this, I’m getting a test”. So I did. It took 12 days to get results. Even though I was feeling fine at that point, we kept up with isolation protocols as best we could. I slept alone, Jen on the lower bunk in the girl’s room. I had my own bathroom. Stayed out of the kitchen as much as possible. Cleaned everything twice. Things we had done years ago to keep the boy healthy and safe were coming back like old habits. My results came back positive.
I think we were fortunate—my case was mild, and no one else in the family got sick. But perhaps the most silver of linings was that our experience was removed from hype. It was direct, and happening in real time.
What do you miss the most from the “before” time?
As a family, we’re not big fans of crowds… but we miss going out. Restaurants, breweries, movies in the theater—that’s a big thing for us. We’re close enough to ride bikes to the theater, so we definitely miss that. We went to Ft. DeSoto the day before they closed the beaches. It was, for the most part, nearly empty like it usually is. We tried to soak up as much of that as possible. Carina misses the library quite a bit. Jen misses spending time with her mom, and the comfort of knowing she could just go sit and talk to her anytime. Now it’s on opposite sides of her glass door.
The kids are definitely missing their friends, and surprisingly enough, being in school. Dante has admitted that he misses seeing his friends in person, and that it’s hard to get used to only video chatting with them. I guess, in a way it’s heartening to see, that despite the zeitgeist of everything being online and in the palm of your hand, when the shit hits the fan, and that’s the only way we can engage, it’s clear that it’s a just pale imitation of the experience and energy we get from each other, in the flesh.
Did you pick up any new good habits or practices that you hope to carry into the post-coronavirus world we’re about to enter?
We can make bread now!
I don’t know if any of our “new behaviors” have become habits, per se, but we are certainly more aware of ourselves, and each other. Slowing down has been nice. Jen really likes how much better she feels not rushing around so much, and is appreciating the quiet times.
Dante has observed that he’s washing his hands more thoroughly, so there’s a silver lining!
Is there any silver lining to being quarantined?
Oh sure, there are lots if you’re willing to see them: More time to smell each other’s laundry…. Observe each others’ bad snacking choices (“really, you’re gonna eat that?!…”), Seeing that water bill drop… Spending less money…
There’s the obvious: more time; To pursue creative interests, work in the yard, get things done around the house.
For me, I think the most valuable thing to come out of this—apart from the opportunity to be together with family, and demonstrate empathy and hope, within our communities—is the view we have of society; It doesn’t feel great to watch our government fail at this most basic task, but it is instructive, and important. And allows us to have no doubts about what kind of changes, and leaders, we want in the future.
What worries you the most about our lives going forward?
This is an interesting question, and we’ve all expressed similar anxieties: Jen says she’s hopeful that people will emerge from this having learned more about themselves, or their communities, and not return to self-serving habits they may have had prior.
Dante is worried that “the amount of people tired of sitting in their homes will overwhelm the public. People are already crowding up parks and streets more than they did before all of this. If that keeps happening, it will only extend the quarantine longer.”
Carina says, “Something that worries me the most is how we will adjust to going back to "normal life". since we have been inside our houses for so long I'm worried that the adjustment won't be as easy as some think it will be.”
For me, whether we, as a people, will have the courage and strength to come together, and demand real leadership, and real change.
Do you have a message for kids, parents in the greater Tampa Bay area?
We think the message in Sandra’s photo of us says it all.
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This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2020.