This Means War brings the boom with a big-gun cast, an arsenal of hilarious gags and precise directing. Imagine if Jon Bon Jovi and Michael Hutchence of INXS had sung “The Girl is Mine,” and that the music video was shot for the Mission: Impossible soundtrack, and you’ll get the idea. It’s no coincidence that a date movie aiming to appeal to both sexes is hitting theaters the week of Valentine’s Day.
FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) are super spies for the CIA. After blowing a not-so-covert job in Hong Kong — in which main baddie Heinrich (Til Schweiger) base-jumps off a skyscraper to escape while his brother swan dives onto a car — the dynamic duo find themselves grounded. Meanwhile, Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) is a consumer product tester by day and the beautiful, blonde perennial strikeout queen by night. After a string of dating failures, her hilarious bestie Trish (Chelsea Handler) signs Lauren up for a dating website.
Tuck and FDR each see a TV commercial for that very same site. Dedicated bachelor FDR finds it pathetic, but Tuck is so entranced that he allows his sparring partner to kick his ass while he stares doe-eyed at the screen. Tuck and Lauren get matched up and hit it off on date one. She then has a chance encounter with FDR at a video store immediately afterward. After being rebuffed, he is intrigued and begins to pursue her.
Eventually, both men share their tales about the new women in their lives, only to find it is the same chick. They decide to a gentlemen’s agreement and set some ground rules, with hilarity ensuing as both men sic the spook squad on the case and bring a new level of creepy to the world of industrial-strength e-stalking. And that’s before sabotage becomes a part of the game. Which man will come out on top? And what will happen when Heinrich comes to L.A. looking to get his evil on?
Director McG (Charlie’s Angels, Terminator Salvation) helms this rom-com on ’roids, and his stamp is evident in the pace and cinematography. McG’s style is a good fit for this material, and does a great job of giving the film the punch it needs. As for the performances, the ever-adorable Witherspoon does well as the lovable loser and Handler almost steals the show as the unfiltered best friend. Pine is like James Marsden with talent in the role of the glib ladies’ man, and Hardy shines as the hunk with the heart of gold.
What’s most enjoyable about the flick is its balance between budding romance, brotherhood and plain ol’ badass. This Means War is a movie that doesn’t have to be a compromise, and delivers as advertised with a new twist on a tale that’s been told many times before. So grab your second-in-command, arm yourself with snacks and strap in for this take-no-prisoners comedic love story.
This article appears in Feb 16-22, 2012.