HHN is so popular in 2023 that Express Pass sales are sold-out for the majority of the month of October. That’s crazy.
Three decades in, HHN’s approach to its annual descent into madness appears to run like a precision-timed, fully-scripted, leave-nothing-to-chance endeavor, for better and for worse.
The 10 featured haunted houses are a mixture of established properties, film, TV and one video-game-turned-TV-serial, along with a smattering of original frights. More on these in a minute.
In addition, there are five scare zones, including Dr. Oddfellow’s Collection of Horror, Dark Zodiac, Jungle of Doom: Expedition Horror, Vamp ’69: Summer of Blood and Shipyard 32: Horrors Unhinged.
True story, I’ve never been a huge fan of scare zones, mostly because my wife hates them because scare actors are drawn to her like moths to a shrieking flame. This year, however, I actually enjoyed the scare zones as much, if not more, than the actual houses.
Why?
You can actually see and appreciate the amazing creature design work and prosthetic work and ornate costuming that these scare actors are wearing. We found the creativity to be off the charts, particularly Dr. Oddfellow’s and Dark Zodiac, both of which boast some incredible characters.
Our favorite, by far, is “Bloodmoon: Dark Offerings” Imagine “Midsommar” as a grand guignol, which also delivers the single best WOW moment of the entire park. That comes when you stumble upon a maypole dripping with ropey intestines that children are holding onto as they merrily go round. It’s chilling and delirious and just an incredible visual.
There also are bloody carcasses packed with fruits and floral arrangements, a body gored by antlers in a local pub and an incredible final sacrifice, which I won’t spoil, other than to say don’t be afraid to look up to the sky toward your new god.
Another original house, “YETI: Campground Kills,” brings the fun, the screams, and the gore—so much gore. Imagine a 1980s creature feature starring many wooly white Yetis running around, ripping off limbs and clawing off faces, and you get the idea. I personally couldn’t stop giggling, which is what happens when my horror-loving brain goes into overdrive.
As for the established properties, our favorite was “Universal Monsters: Unmasked,” which is a significant improvement over last year’s “Universal Monsters: Legends Collide.”
Maybe it’s me, but I genuinely enjoy seeing lesser-known monsters like The Phantom of the Opera, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and The Invisible Man get a chance to shine. Living up to its title, “Unmasked,” there’s also an impressive number of characters whose faces get ripped off with gory delight.
Sadly, there were three original houses we didn’t get to walk through, including Dr. Oddfellow’s Twisted Origins, The Darkest Deal and Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate.
Now for the bad news.
HHN’s marketing this year has leaned heavily into its four top properties, “Stranger Things 4,” “The Exorcist: Believer,” “The Last of Us,” and “Chucky: Ultimate Kill Count,” which makes sense given how beloved and well-known these four movies, television shows and video game-turned-TV-show are.
Despite ruining a few key moments from its cinematic namesake, “The Exorcist: Believer” is probably the best of the four, which is surprising given how much I hated the actual movie.
“Stranger Things 4” and “The Last of Us” are basically interchangeable with neither house having any real standout moments or must-see-again surprises.
Since the bitching has become, it makes sense to point out that the scariest moment in all of “Stranger Things 4” would be the two Demogorgon characters waiting just outside the exit door to give patrons one last shit-their-pants jump scare. We happened to see this, undetected upon exiting a different house, and couldn’t wait to be shocked. However, when we ventured through “Stranger Things 4,” and exited the house, the two Demogorgon’s were off to the side, talking to each other and laughing, instead of trying to scare us.
Finally, “Chucky: Ultimate Kill Count” had such promise, but much like the Blumhouse double feature house from last year, which featured “Freaky” and “The Black Phone,” the “Chucky” house proved less than satisfying because it basically repeats itself ad nauseum or simply copies iconic moments from its various films and TV show without adding anything new.
As previously stated, there are no more Express Passes available for HHN until Oct. 27, and then the price for a fast pass starts at $169.99 and can go as high as $279.99 per pass, depending on the day.
That’s on top of a single ticket costing you anywhere from $89.99 to $149.99, depending on the day.
For anyone who has ever gone to HHN, you already know that without an express pass you might only make it through two or three houses tops before the park closes.
Comparatively, tickets for the region’s other Halloween haunts seem tame.
Sir Henry’s Haunted Trail in Plant City start at $47 and go up to $62 apiece for VIP.
Tickets for Busch Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream in Tampa start at $44.99 and extend up to $146.99 for unlimited admission throughout October, combined with Front Line Fear tickets that range from $69 to $79, depending on if you want to ride roller coasters.
And tickets for Scream-A-Geddon in Dade City range from $35.95 to $52.95, depending on the day, and can be combined with a VIP Fast Pass, but still cost less than $150 total.
This article appears in Oct 12-18, 2023.