Nature’s great masterpiece, an Elephant,
The only harmless great thing; the giant
Of beasts …
—from “Progress of the Soul” by John Donne (1572-1631)
Because I have to squeeze these Notebook thoughts into less than 800 words, cutting out certain political complexities, I often come across, even to myself, as overly optimistic. If you can’t say something nice, my mother always said …
So let me say up front, 1. that money’s corrupting both parties (though the name “Romney” not only suggests money, it includes it: Money R Us!); and 2. that idiots are found everywhere — here I give you Todd Akin; please choose your own Democrat.
I’m disappointed that President Obama has been unable to repel the Tea Party, which has spilled over Republicans like the Mongol hordes overran Afghanistan, dragging it historically backwards. I believe Obama felt he could reason with these people (the Afghans tried that with Genghis Khan before the Mongols exterminated the entire cites of Herat, Ghazni, and Balkh, for starters).
Where was I? I’ll have to stop this side-reading. In addition to loving Paul Ryan, Tea Party Republicans cheer speeches ridiculing climate change. They applaud people who laugh at evolution. They went bonkers when Governor Perry suggested a Texas secession. They mock electric cars. They roar in approval when the Affordable Care Act is called a “huge tax.” They still support Akin in Missouri.
These aren’t ideas, but more like blood oaths, and the Dems have failed to dislodge these aboriginal positions. Just listen to Governor Scott for five minutes. No wonder he took the 5th Amendment 75 times when his health care company was charged with fraud; every sentence he utters has something wrong in it. His company was fined $600 million in the largest fraud settlement in our history, but he “had nothing to do with it.”
To vote Republican is to encourage a huge group of people who want to bring that old-fashioned religion into government (Genghis Khan called himself the “Punishment of God”). This isn’t just kooky, it’s dangerous: even Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan’s mentor, thought this a disaster. And to disbelieve in science is to dismiss global warming, while countries like Sweden, France, and even China get the jump on us with green technology, the jobs of the future.
Let’s think of the Republican party as an elephant, yes? (Hey, elephants are people, too!) I see bright and good-hearted Republicans, like my friends, relatives, and neighbors, as the head of this huge animal, which is known to be dangerous, but capable of kindness, and, most importantly, with a good memory: an elephant never forgets. They remember that taxes for the wealthy are at an 80-year low (Eisenhower had a top rate of 91 percent), and Reagan and George Herbert Bush voted for many tax increases. They know Obama hasn’t raised taxes, and that “Nixoncare” would be a more accurate nickname than “Obamacare”: in 1974 Nixon pushed a universal health plan, later basically copied by Romney and then Obama. These are the old Republicans, from the old mainstream elephant.
Today, that elephantine body is crammed with a group of circus clowns who snap that smart head back and forth like a mammoth shaking a mouse. In this metaphor the very rich, like the Koch Brothers, are the trunk, scoffing up everyone’s peanuts, trumpeting Repeal, Repeal!
Let’s make Ron Paul and his followers the ears, flapping energetically and appealingly — but not in the right place to get much attention. The four feet, designed for stomping, belong to Ryan, McConnell, Santorum, and Grover Norquist. Romney’s a fat tick living off the old skin, trying to find a spot where he’s comfortable. I think of Rick Scott as the tail, as he’s the farthest from the brain.
Folks, the donkey may be a bit dotty, but this is a rogue elephant.
He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practiced on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
‘At length I realize,’ he said,
‘The bitterness of life!’
—from “Sylvie and Bruno” by Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)
This article appears in Aug 30 – Sep 5, 2012.