- Olympic Snowboarder Scotty Lago is living every Olympian's dream. Photos have surfaced of his bronze medal hanging around his waist and the "hardware hung over his groin" and a woman kissing and biting said medal on a street in Vancouver. Every man who has ever won a medal has wanted to get a lovely lady biting on it in a public place. This young man has made it happen, and even though the Olympic committee is all up in arms about it, the men of America and maybe the world are applauding little Scotty Lago and his creative use of the least cool medal around.
- Mischa Barton, who used to be famous, loves to drive. Mischa Barton, who used to be famous, loves to smoke weed. She brought her two loves together this week and the pictures are pretty much the best thing to hit the internet since Tiger Woods banged a Perkins waitress.
- Speaking of our favorite Blasian feline… the man, the myth, the cheating legend, was back at it this week, taking over the headlines like every famous golfer should. His porn star mistress is claiming she has not once, but twice had little baby tiger kittens in her tummy but never actually had either one. Tiger also took to the airwaves this week to apologize to, us, I guess, ask the media to stop following around his wife and kids and say he doesn't know when he will be back on the links. I am anti this apology and pro this paparazzi-ban. I am neutral on his golf career.
After the jump… ethnicity-fraud on the Jersey Shore, someone is getting called out for being "stubby" and people I thought were already married just got engaged.
This article appears in Feb 17-23, 2010.