2 FAST 2 FURIOUS (PG-13) It's hard to imagine that once-respectable director John Singleton is responsible for this tepid time-waster, a sequel so shoddy it makes the idiotic but entertaining original look like Citizen Kane. Former cop and driver extraordinaire Brian O'Connor (blander-than-ever Paul Walker) is back, this time teamed with a fast-talking black buddy (Tyrese) and working undercover to set up a nasty Miami drug lord. The script is mindless, the acting atrocious, and not even the action scenes are particularly exciting (the biggest crowd-pleasers are a couple of cars flying through the air — shots not too far removed from what you'd see on an old Dukes of Hazard rerun). Add some painfully forced repartee between the salt and pepper leads and a hot Latina babe in the wings — whose main credentials seem to be possessing both Gina Gershon's lips and Cindy Crawford's mole — and you've got a near-total bust. Eye candy, pure and simple, but not even particularly good eye candy. Also stars Cole Hauser and Chris "Ludicris" Bridges. 
28 DAYS LATER (R) The country's been devastated by a strange virus and small bands of ragtag survivors fight off hordes of snarling, once-human creatures in this horror movie for the New Dark Ages. Despite the occasional burst of warmth and light, 28 Days Later is a fiercely gritty and even ugly affair, made even more so by jittery editing and the flat, no-frills look of its digital video footage. Many will find the tone a little too faux-hip frenetic (flying in the face of tradition, these zombies move fast), but the raw power and ambitious scale of this blood-drenched journey into the heart of darkness can't be denied. Stars Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Christopher Eccleston, Megan Burns and Brendan Gleeson.
AMERICAN WEDDING (R) American Wedding brings us to the third and hopefully final chapter of the American Pie saga. In this installment, we find some of the original cast missing while those remaining are left with the task of planning a wedding for Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). The missing characters actually allow for the rest to become a bit more developed, if more annoying, as is the case with Stifler (Sean William Scott). Hijinks ensue as the characters travel on to the next level of disgusting behavior, most of which puts Jim or Stifler into situations that are anywhere from mildly embarrassing to downright humiliating. Amercian Wedding reaches new peaks of absurdity, but its rudimentary style works somehow. Despite the predictable slapstick and unoriginal story line, the movie is surprisingly entertaining. —Leilani Polk
BAD BOYS II (R) Nothing more than the traditional buddy cops action-adventure, this predictable flick is full of gory, gratuitous violence set around the heart of Miami. Body-bagged corpses fly from vehicles in high-speed car chases and bullets splat foreheads and hit other unmentionable body parts, becoming the butt of many jokes. In the midst of all the stylized stunts, co-stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence share several laugh-out-loud scenes that lighten the mood, but also digress from the boys' original purpose of taking down ecstasy traffickers in this two-and-a-half-hour sequel. Also stars Gabrielle Union. 1/2—Sharilyn Wiskup
CORAL REEF ADVENTURE (G) Another quality IMAX production from the acclaimed team of MacGillivray Freeman (who seem to be able to do this IMAX thing in their sleep), Coral Reef Adventure is a fascinating and somewhat frightening look at an exotic and rapidly disappearing underwater world. Music by flag-waving hippie diehards Crosby, Stills and Nash brings home the environmental message concerning the destruction of the reefs (from a deadly combo of over-fishing and global warming), but the movie has its moments of fun as well. 1/2
DIRTY PRETTY THINGS (R) One of the happiest and most unexpected surprises I caught at last year's Toronto Film Festival was this delightfully quirky thriller set within London's diverse immigrant community. In its own small, singular way, director Stephen Frears' Dirty Pretty Things has all the makings of a cult hit. The film features some great local color, an offbeat but steadily gripping plot involving black marketeers and organ-selling, a star turn by lead actor Chjwetel Ejiofor, and Amelie's Audrey Tautou as an illegal immigrant from Turkey, with a moustache. Also stars Sophie Okonedo. Opens Aug. 22 at Tampa Theatre. 1/2
FREAKY FRIDAY (PG) Taking a look at the lighter side of the generation gap, early 21st century-style, Disney remakes its 1976 comedy about a young girl switching bodies with her mom. It might have been fun if Jodie Foster, who was 14 when she played the daughter in the original movie, returned as the mom in the remake. Instead, we get an incessantly mugging but seriously unfunny Jamie Lee Curtis doing the honors, while fresh-faced Lindsay Lohan (star of Disney's Parent Trap remake) steps into Foster's old shoes. The movie's not so much bad as it is utterly unsurprising, although some of the humor borders on the cringe-worthy. (In one typical joke, a wedding's "maid of honor" becomes "maid of whore.") Lohan is mildly amusing playing the post-switcheroo teen with an adult's personality, but it's often just plain embarrassing watching Curtis strut around playing "young" – something the movie gives us way too much of. Also stars Mark Harmon and Chad Murray.
FREDDY VS. JASON (R) Buckets of blood are the main ingredients here, along with oodles of siliconed breasts and an almost perverse disregard for anything smacking of imagination, originality or sense. In other words, pretty much what you'd expect, so leave your brain and sense of outrage at the door. The story, such as it is, is simply a collection of dated fright flick conventions and cliches, and amounts to a lame excuse to bring together the titular pair of horror has-beens. And, yes, they do actually go at it monstro e monstro — although you'll have to sit through about an hour of hapless teens being slaughtered before you get to the so-called Big Event — a battle which, despite all the grand guignol gore, turns out to be played mostly for laughs. The movie was directed by Ronny Yu, who once made interesting Hong Kong classics like Bride With the White Hair and has since settled for churning out Hollywood junk like Bride of Chucky and now this. Stars Robert Englund, James Callahan, Monica Keena and Lauren Lee Smith.
GRIND (PG-13) The Hollywood empire shoots out teen movies like a well-oiled machine, each one appearing as a re-cast, re-packaged replica of the last. Grind is undoubtedly the stand out, not because of its original storyline or cutting-edge comedy, but because of the lead actors, who are virtually unknown and somehow more genuine and sympathetic than the average teen puppet. Eric Rivers (Mike Vogel) and his best friends decide to take a summer road trip together to follow their dream of getting noticed by the professional skateboarding world. Missing the transportation they would need for this venture, they secure the help of fellow skateboarder and van owner Sweet Lou (Joey Kern). They face countless obstacles but the cheesy and sometimes bizarre moments make the movie strangely endearing — and the cameos are simply priceless. Grind just might be the gem of teen movies this summer. Also starring Randy Quaid and Jason London.
THE HUMAN BODY (PG) It's hard not to feel positively microscopic while watching The Human Body, what with all those gigantic internal organs and bodily fluids filling up that seven-story-tall IMAX screen. The movie was three years in the making, but The Human Body is the culmination of decades of technological advances. Pencil-thin endoscopic cameras, thermal imaging and time-slice photography (a Matrix-like freeze-effect) are only some of the cutting-edge techniques employed to great effect here. What couldn't actually be achieved by hook or crook was simulated through computer animation that's often difficult to distinguish from the real thing. The movie is a sort of day in the life of us all, a look at the routine functions performed by many of us in the course of our daily existences, albeit as seen from the inside. 1/2
I CAPTURE THE CASTLE (R) A charming but otherwise ordinary film about extraordinary people, as well as a coming-of-age tale narrated by the coming-of-ager herself. That would be Cassandra (Romola Garai), a sensitive 17-year-old who's part of a family of mad hatters stuck in a once grand, now badly deteriorated castle in the English countryside. Cassandra, like the rest of her tightly wound, emotionally unstable clan, experiences life in convulsive lurches, spewing and soaking up feelings as if they were bursts of rapidly misfiring synapses. And when a family of rich Americans comes calling, including a pair of handsome young brothers, things get particularly complicated. The movie gets too caught up in the nuts and bolts of its vaguely soap opera-ish plot for its own good, making us care about its story, but just barely. The film is literate but a bit on the light side, a little like a lesser Masterpiece Theatre production re-imagined as a BBC sitcom. Also stars Rose Byrne, Bill Nighy and Henry Thomas. Opens Aug. 22 at Channelside Cinemas. Call theater to confirm.
INTO THE DEEP (G) If your eyes have already darted down to the extravagant number of planets awarded this film, bear in mind that the rating owes as much to the phenomenal IMAX 3-D experience as it does to the movie itself. Into the Deep is an extremely well made 40-minute documentary on underwater creatures, but in 3-D, it becomes an absolutely breathtaking experience. Watch millions of mating, opalescent squid swarmming all around your head, frisky sea lions dropping right into your lap and sharks poking their noses directly in your face. Whatever we're watching, we feel ourselves immersed in the image to the point where it literally becomes difficult to tell what's part of the movie and what's not. The IMAX 3-D picture is precise, utterly life-like and, frankly, so revolutionary that I could easily see these sorts of films one day replacing standard 2-D movies.
JOHNNY ENGLISH (PG) After the vulgarity of the Austin Powers franchise, this PG-rated romp about a bungling British spy (hilarious Rowan Atkinson) seems like a quaint throwback. It doesn't hurt that two of the screenwriters were responsible for Die Another Day, the best James Bond outing in ages — clearly, these men know the genre and how to best tweak it. A car chase scene proves to be as equally clever as the much-ballyhooed ones in The Matrix Reloaded and T3, and John Malkovich shows he's game by playing the "fruity" French villain. In a season of heavily hyped titles, it's nice to find a small-scale picture that delivers on its promise without making a big deal about it. Also stars Natalie Imbruglia, Ben Miller, Tim Pigott-Smith and Oliver Ford Davies. —Matt Brunson
LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER: THE CRADLE OF LIFE (PG-13) Action movies were not meant to be as boring as the first two pictures in the Tomb Raider franchise. Where's the quickening of the pulse, the racing of the heart, the holding of the breath? Here, expect the closing of the eyelids. Clearly, Angelina Jolie's series is meant to evoke the spirit of the Indiana Jones films, but when the exposition is so arid, the stunts so standard, and the effects so ordinary, they can't generate the excitement of a Scooby-Doo cartoon. Also stars Djimon Hounsou, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Djimon Hounsou, Til Schweiger and Noah Taylor. —Matt Brunson
THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN (PG-13) It's 1899 in an alternate England, where a group of "singular individuals" join forces to combat an evil genius who's about to plunge the world into chaos. Sean Connery stars as the legendary adventurer Allen Quartermain, leader of the titular League, a super-powered crew that also includes Captain Nemo, The Invisible Man, Dorian Grey, a vampiric acquaintance of Dracula's, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The mix-and-match isn't quite as absurd as it sounds, but the characters never quite click as a cohesive superhero unit, nor do they really engage us as individuals. Likewise, the movie itself is a somewhat clumsy mish-mash of a quaintly old-fashioned adventure story for boys and a modern special effects blow-out. Director Stephen Norrington gives the film a dark veneer not dissimilar to Burton's Batman's or even Norrington's own Blade, alternating between frenetic action sequences and gloomy passages in which the characters are obliged to engage in token brooding about their dark sides. Connery's not bad for a geezer, and Stuart Townsend has fun channeling a young Johnny Depp as Dorian Grey, but the rest of the cast is pretty much faceless. Also stars Shane West and Jason Fleming.
LEGALLY BLONDE 2: RED, WHITE AND BLONDE (PG-13) LB2 has perky, perfectly put together Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) shaking up things in the nation's capitol when she goes on a crusade against animal testing. This sequel — which might have effectively been subtitled Blonde Ambition or Blonde Justice — isn't nearly as much fun as the original, which scored points for self-mocking irony and general pop silliness. This time out, the filmmakers opt more for sincerity, and the movie winds up too often just seeming blandly sanctimonious. The model here is clearly Frank Capra, and specifically his Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, but Reese's over-accessorized Everywoman has almost as difficult a time filling Jimmy Stewart's shoes as Adam Sandler did not so long ago. Also stars Regina King, Jennifer Coolidge, Bruce McGill, Bob Newhart and Luke Wilson.
THE MEDALLION (PG-13) In what sounds awfully similar to his last project, The Tuxedo, Jackie Chan's latest features the martial arts star as a Hong Kong cop who gains incredible powers from a mysterious medallion. We're hoping for the best but not expecting much from this rapidly aging action hero. Maybe the object bestowing amazing powers upon Jackie in his next project should be a wheelchair. Also stars Claire Forlani, Julian Sands and John Rhys-Davies. Opens Aug. 22 at local theaters. (Not Reviewed)
MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER (PG-13) Romantic comedy starring Hollywood party girl Tara Reid and Demi Moore's current boy-toy, Ashton Kuthcher. Ashton house-sits for his boss and attempts to woo, yep, you guessed it, the boss' daughter (Tara). Sounds positively boring, unless you have the hots for Ashton. Also stars Molly Shannon, Carmen Elektra, Andy Richter, David Koechner and Terence Stamp. (Not Reviewed)
NORTHFORK (PG-13) Ostensibly the story of a small Montana town about to be flooded by a new hydroelectric dam, this aggressively odd film by twin brothers Mark and Michael Polish feels more like an extended dream sequence. Wildly enigmatic images and sequences abound, filling the film with one-of-a-kind moments of astonishing visual and thematic richness. On the down side, more than a few of these moments become more than a bit pretentious or just plain silly, so that, from time to time, Northfork plays like an unintentional spoof of a bad art film. Take all that in stride, though, and the movie becomes a cosmic cartoon crammed with original and innovative touches. I suspect there's not much middle ground with Northfork — people are either going to love it or hate it. If Northfork occasionally falls hard on its face, it's only because it aims higher than any movie released so far this year. Stars James Woods, Nick Nolte and Daryl Hannah.
OPEN RANGE (R) Kevin Costner (who also directed and co-produced) plays a conflicted cattle driver pitted against a greedy land baron. A sleepy opening and sometimes tedious pacing make the first hour drag, but Robert Duvall's fine performance as a fatherly cowpoke keeps things moving along until the explosive final gun battle, which is worth the wait. —Tray Butler
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN (PG-13) The story here isn't much more than you'd expect from a theme park ride turned big screen blockbuster, but so what? The real reason to see Pirates of the Caribbean is Johnny Depp, who's a total gas-gas-gas as the Keith Richards-inspired rock 'n' roll pirate Jack Sparrow. Depp flashes his gold teeth and mascara-lined eyes, swashbuckling and swishing about in an apparently perpetual stoned-out state of grace. Geoffrey Rush is no slouch either as the scenery-chewing leader of a pack of zombie pirates straight out of an old Scooby Doo cartoon. The rest of the movie basically amounts to a skillful and modestly engaging blend of battle scenes and comedy (with just a sprinkling of romance and horror thrown in), all given a nice spit-and-polish thanks to director Gore Verbinski's usual high production values. The movie's too long by almost a full half-hour and some of the score seems directly cribbed from Coppola's Dracula, but, again, this is Depp's show all the way, and not much else matters. Also stars Keira Knightley. 1/2
RESPIRO (R) Director Emanuele Crialese's film is a curiously appealing blend of lush travelogue, gritty Italian Neo-Realism and Diary of a Mad Housewife hysteria. The film is set on a little island off the coast of Sicily, and focuses on the manic-depressive mother of a family of fishermen (Valeria Golino, Charlie Sheen's main squeeze from Hot Shots). The film's melodramatic tendencies sometimes feel forced, and there's a quasi-mystical final act that seems to come out of nowhere, but, for all its flaws, Respiro remains a lovely little film. The movie is particularly good at capturing the daily rhythms of life in its small, fishing community, and the naturalistic feel is underscored by unaffected performances from a cast peppered with nonprofessionals. Golino projects a raw, earthy sensuality that recalls the young Anna Magnani. The movie itself is warm, funny, mysterious and always very human. Also stars Vincenzo Amato. 1/2
RUGRATS GO WILD (PG) Two batches of Nickelodeon cartoon characters for the price of one, although the fun factor is barely half of what you might reasonably expect from a project like this. This team-up of the animated kiddies from Nick's popular Rugrats and Wild Thornberrys TV shows does feature one nice (albeit underused) gimmick — a scratch 'n' sniff card — but it's all downhill from there. The movie contains the requisite boogers and poop jokes and should do well with its primary 3- to 7-year-old target audience, but most adult chaperones will find little of interest. The script feels like it was knocked out in an afternoon, the animation has a cheaper-than-usual look, and there's almost nothing here as funny or interesting as the previous Rugrats movies, or even one of the half-hour TV episodes. Featuring the voices of Bruce Willis, Jodi Carlisle, Christine Cavanaugh and Tim Curry.
SEABISCUIT (PG-13) Seabiscuit chronicles the over achieving stallion that captured America's fancy during the height of the Great Depression. This sentimental drama focuses on the three diverse people in Seabiscuit's life, who team up to conquer long odds. Fire-blooded jockey Red Pollard (Tobey Maguire), eccentric trainer Tom Smith (Chris Cooper) and nice-guy owner Charles Howard (Jeff Bridges) work together to take the horse all the way to the top. The film's relatable characters and attention-grabbing race scenes prove that a historical sports drama can gallop ahead of other summer blockbusters. 1/2 —Chris Berger
SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER (PG) Director Robert Rodriguez seems to have invested so much of his creative energies in the wall-to-wall 3-D effects that dominate his new movie, that there was nothing left over for an actual story or even interesting characters. Spy Kids 3-D ultimately coasts on little more than a gimmick and an ability not to take itself too seriously. And even the 3-D effects, cool as they are, still depend upon looking through those funky blue-red glasses, something sure to eventually generate a headache. The movie winds up coming off as a little too close to the video games it's supposed to be spoofing. On the other hand, maybe it's just Tron with better visuals and fewer pretensions. Stars Daryl Sabara, Alexa Varga, Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas. 1/2
S.W.A.T. (PG-13) Cheerfully superficial rock 'em sock 'em action with Colin Farrell, Samuel L. Jackson and a host of significantly lesser luminaries playing a squad of elite cops keeping the streets of L.A. safe from all manner of armed and dangerous scum. There may be a poster of Steve McQueen's Bullitt hanging on the wall of Farrell's character's apartment, but S.W.A.T. is more like a monster truck rally: a fast and furious ode to the art of blowin' stuff up real good. Jackson's presence and Farrell's quietly magnetic performance give a touch (a very faint touch) of class to the project, but the movie's priorities clearly lie in pure adrenaline and gleefully embraced cliches. Stray moments of semi-sensitive, character-driven plot and dialogue are periodically thrown in to convince us there's an actual story in here somewhere. However, most of the time you're just quickly consumed by massive amounts of sound and fury. It's all based on the "70s TV show, although you'd hardly know it without that familiar disco-ball theme song popping up every so often. Also stars LL Cool J, Michelle Rodriguez and Josh Charles. 1/2
SWIMMING POOL (R) Acclaimed director Francois Ozon's latest is something akin to a classic Hitchcock mystery, albeit one filtered through an oddly metaphysical lens that opens up the events to any number of interpretations. For his first English language movie, Ozon reunites with his Under the Sand star Charlotte Rampling, who plays a stuffy writer bent out of shape when a slutty little nymphet (Ludivine Sagnier) shows up at her doorstep. As in all Ozon films, the characters we're offered are ultimately slippery ones, and their real story, as well as that of the movie itself, exists somewhere below the surface. The action becomes increasingly strange, and, even when we think things are headed toward some inevitable resolution, Ozon pulls a series of rugs out from under us, causing us to question everything we think we've come to know about these characters. Swimming Pool is a witty, hypnotic, and occasionally mystical experience, but one that's often simply too cryptic for its own good. How much of what we see on screen is "real" and how much is a figment of the various characters' imaginations is finally a riddle for us to ponder. What Swimming Pool offers is a nod, a wink, and plenty of hidden depths, heavy with all the possibilities that our imaginations will allow. Also stars Charles Dance.
TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES (R) Tempting as it is, we probably can't even say that the once-mighty Terminator franchise went out with a whimper, not with a bang. The sad truth of the matter is that The House That Arnold Built refuses to die, and this boring little mediocrity can barely contain its enthusiasm at setting us up for sequels to come. James Cameron wisely chose to distance himself from this faceless non-entity, which mostly just goes through the motions, recycling action riffs and catch phrases from the earlier Terminator movies and plopping them on the screen with little or no style, wit or imagination. The plot and dialogue are sophomoric, the acting forgettable (with the possible exception of Claire Danes), and the whole thing plays like a cross between a made-for-TV movie and a spoof of the original T1 and T2 as directed by the kid in Rushmore. No matter how low your expectations are for this one, they're apt to be shattered. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl and Kristannia Loken. 1/2
UPTOWN GIRLS (PG-13) Brittany Murphy is in full-tilt Look at Me! I'm Quirky! mode as a pampered Manhattanite who gets her trust fund stolen and finds herself forced to take a job as nanny to a neurotic, 8-year-old neo-Fascist with big baby-blue eyes (Dakota Fanning, last seen warming hearts in I Am Sam). The two females are — surprise, surprise — complete opposites who spend the first half of the movie trading insults, before the inevitable bonding that takes place in the film's second half. Director Boaz Yakin's movie is a mess, a steaming heap of miscalculated emotional cues, clumsy manipulation, lazy screenwriting and pedestrian direction. The characters Learn, Grow, Change, Reach Out and engage in several other upper-case cliches that seem to happen almost exclusively to fictional characters in clueless movies like this. The humor mainly consists of pratfalls, close-ups of a pet potbellied pig (pigs are funny, right?) and words like "crack" and "whore" issuing from an 8-year-old mouth. On the plus side, the Billy Joel song for which the movie is titled is never heard. Also stars Donald Faison. 1/2
WHALE RIDER (R) It's easy to see why this New Zealand import is attracting so much praise from critics and audiences alike. Director Niki Caro infuses a heartwarming coming of age story with just the right amount of ethnic exotica, mother earth mysticism and political correctness. It results in an adventure tale that has something for everybody, from folklore aficionados to feminists to plain old film lovers. Eleven-year-old Keisha Castle-Huges makes a memorable debut as Pai, a Maori girl who wants to be taken seriously in the male-dominated society of her people. Pai comes from a long line of chiefs but, even though it's clear she's destined to carry on that tradition, stern but loving grandpa Koro (Rawiri Paratene) won't have any of it. The love/hate relationship between the young girl and the old man is at the heart of the film, but Whale Rider's uplifting message, interesting local color, beautiful New Zealand locations and sweetly revisionist mysticism are the icing on the cake. Also stars Vicki Haughton. 1/2
WINGED MIGRATION (G) Short on facts, devoid of maps, graphs and talking heads, but filled with absolutely exquisite images that put us up close and personal with our fine, featured friends. This Oscar-nominated production is anything but your standard nature documentary. Winged Migration is a cinematic poem, pure and simple, a visual ode to all things avian. A 450-person crew, including 14 cinematographers, labored for four years in 40 different countries, following the migrating paths of dozens of varieties of birds from the American West to the sands of the Sahara to the Arctic Circle. Specially modified, ultra-light flying cameras were employed, giving us a sense of actually flying right alongside these creatures, allowing us to look right into their eyes and listen to the sounds of their breathing and of their wings as they flap. The overall experience is often breathtaking, although the movie has a tendency to veer into mystical la-la land, an inclination accentuated by Bruno Coulais' overpowering soundtrack mixing French New Age pop with faux-medieval chants. For the most part, though, it's a marvelous film, especially for anyone with the least bit of interest in, well, bird-watching. Those who've seen Microcosmos, director Jacques Perrin's earlier ode to the mondo bizarro realm of insects, will have some idea of what to expect. 1/2
—Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted.
This article appears in Aug 21-27, 2003.