ABOUT SCHMIDT (R) Jack Nicholson is resplendently bland in this skewed character study of an ordinary retired insurance salesman with a penchant for crankiness and a bad comb-over (is there such a thing as a good comb-over?). After his wife suddenly dies, Nicholson's Schmidt hops in his 30-foot Winnebago and embarks on a mini road-trip revisiting his past — only to find he doesn't really seem to have a past or a future. Also stars Hope Davis, Dermot Mulroney, Kathy Bates and Howard Hesseman. 
A MAN APART (R) Sean Vetter (Vin Diesel) and his partner work together as DEA agents fighting in the drug wars that rage along the US/Mexican border. Drama from director F. Gary Gray. Also stars Larenz Tate and Timothy Olyphant. (Not Reviewed)
ANGER MANAGEMENT (PG-13) Another drab installment of recycled humor starring Adam Sandler, the most typecast comic actor of our time. Sandler plays Dave Buznik, a neurotic who struggles to masquerade his angst by being non-confrontational. This method of containment adversely affects both his personal and business relationships. And after an altercation with a flight attendant, Dave is court ordered to participate in an anger management program. His therapist, Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson), takes an unconventional approach in treating him. Throughout the program, Dave is witness to dubious practices by Dr. Rydell and questions his sanity. Their interactions are slightly amusing at times but not enduring. Jack Nicholson is the only new element in this formulaic Sandler flick. The plot relies on the same mold as his other films. Reoccurring characters and gags are aplenty. The title should have been saved for a Sandler anthology, it best describes what to expect from this actor. Also stars Marisa Tomei, John Turturro, Kevin Nealon and Woody Harrelson. —Corey Myers
AUSTRALIA: LAND BEYOND TIME (PG) The film takes us Down Under to the flattest, driest continent on earth, immerses us in parched, otherworldly landscapes and introduces us to tons of incredibly odd and supremely adaptable animals. 1/2
BASIC (R) John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson team up again in a thriller with the multiple layers of truths. Military drama from director John McTiernan (Die Hard). Also stars Tim Daly, Connie Nielson and Brian Van Holt. (Not Reviewed)
BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM (PG-13) A far more satisfying spin on modern gals grappling with Old World cultural values (and cliches) than My Big Fat Greek Wedding. At the center of the story is Jess (Jesminder to her parents), a nice Indian girl who just wants to follow her dream to play soccer, much to the dismay of dear old mum and dad. Much of what follows is fairly predictable but ultimately winning stuff. Director Gurinder Chadha (Bhaji on the Beach) toys with scores of cliches and conventions, but manages to transcend them all by keeping a firm grip on the bottom line: creating appealing and believable characters, and giving them an interesting and convincing world to live in. The movie gives us a little bit of everything, crossing smoothly from genre to genre and packing all of its elements tightly together in one groovy little package: romantic comedy, coming-of-age drama, sports movie. Stars Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Anupam Kher.
BETTER LUCK TOMORROW (R) Finally, a teen flick that provides a satisfying answer to the burning question "What happens when model students go bad?" Better Luck Tomorrow is an engaging look at a group of smart, successful Asian-American high school kids who, mostly out of boredom, get involved in a series of lucrative scams that become increasingly bigger and more dangerous. The movie tackles racial stereotyping, but only in a roundabout way, which is as it should be; these kids could be anybody. There's no real soapbox here, just some genuinely intriguing characters and an authentic-feeling scenario about nice suburban kids having fun doing bad things. Director Justin Lin shoots and edits the film in a fast, flashy way that drives home the youthful energy. Stars Parry Sheh, Jason J. Tobin and Roger Fan. 1/2
BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE (PG-13) Steve Martin and Queen Latifah star in what the previews reveal to be the standard Hollywood comedy that starts with a wacky Internet match-up but winds up with Ms. Latifah as helper-to-the-rescue a la Mrs. Doubtfire. (Not Reviewed)
BULLETPROOF MONK (PG-13) Bland, action movie nonsense featuring Chow Yun Fat as a nameless monk entrusted with the protection of a mystical scroll that can bring about the end of the world. In what's clearly calculated as a "break-out role," Seann William Scott (Stifler from American Pie) does his best Harrison Ford impersonation as the charming petty thief who teams up with the monk and helps save the universe. Scott's not as annoying as you might imagine, but he's not particularly memorable or appealing either. Ditto for the movie. Most of what ensues amounts to a series of clumsily choreographed fights and chases, with a few exotic flourishes from the Mysterious East to pad things out. Chow, Asia's once and former prime candidate for East-West crossover stardom, mostly looks a little bored here. Also stars Jaime King. 1/2
CHASING PAPI (PG ) A film featuring Hispanic artists and filmmakers that revolves around three disparate women who discover they have something in common — yea, a guy. Romantic comedy from director Linda Mendoza. Stars Eduardo Verastegui, Roselyn Sanchez and Sofia Vergara. (Not Reviewed)
CHICAGO (PG-13) Rob Marshall pulls out all the stops in this lavish, big-screen adaptation of the hit Broadway musical about a 1920s chorus girl who shoots her lover, goes to jail and becomes a big celebrity. Taking place simultaneously in gritty reality and in the projected fantasies of its characters, the movie cleverly folds its story into a series of show-stopping musical numbers. Stars Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere, Catherine Zeta-Jones, John C. Reilly and Taye Diggs.
CONFIDENCE (R) Ed Burns is the black hole at the center of yet another heist movie recycling familiar bits and pieces of Tarantino, David Mamet and old fashioned film noir. Burns is smooth but bland as Jake Vig, a slick grifter who eventually fleeces the wrong guy and winds up working a scam by way of paying off a debt to a very strange little gangster (played to the hilt by Dustin Hoffman). Everybody in the movie is a sleaze of one sort of another, and the film doesn't distinguish between them very effectively. How likeable the characters are seems to depend largely upon how square their jaws are or how high their cheekbones. The film's plot ultimately just boils down to the convoluted mechanics of the various scams and heists that occur, and the characters simply aren't appealing or human enough to make us really care about too much of it. Doug Jung's lazy script relies way too heavily on flashbacks and voice-overs, and director James Foley lights it all in ghoulish reds and greens right out of Glengarry Glen Ross, but doesn't quite know how to save the movie. Also stars Rachel Weisz, Paul Glamatti and Andy Garcia. 1/2
CORAL REEF ADVENTURE (G) Another quality IMAX production from the acclaimed team of MacGillivray Freeman (who seem to be able to do this IMAX thing in their sleep), Coral Reef Adventure is a fascinating and somewhat frightening look at an exotic and rapidly disappearing underwater world. Music by flag-waving hippie diehards Crosby, Stills and Nash brings home the environmental message concerning the destruction of the reefs (from a deadly combo of over-fishing and global warming), but the movie has its moments of fun as well. 1/2
THE CORE (PG-13) See Rome's Coliseum destroyed by freak lightening! See the Golden Gate Bridge melt and collapse! See the space shuttle skid to a landing in downtown L.A.! All that really does take place in The Core, but you'll have to wade through a lot of excruciatingly boring pseudoscience and predictable plot "twists" to get to the good old-fashioned disaster flick lurking within. The movie also owes considerably to Fantastic Voyage, although the journey taken by our heroes here is not into the human body, but into the earth itself. See, it seems the Earth's core has stopped spinning (don't ask), resulting in a disintegrating electromagnetic field, resulting in the impending end of the world. That means it's up to hunky genius-boy Aaron Eckhart, pixie-cute astronaut Hilary Swank and a team of disposable sidekicks to hop into what looks like a giant drill bit and get on down to the planet's center to make things right. The special effects and dialogue are often cheesy enough to generate a smile or two, but the movie is mostly just too long and tedious to really be much fun. Also stars Delroy Lindo and Stanley Tucci. 1/2
CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE (R) A slick, stylish but basically silly and sub-generic heist/kidnap movie that teams rapper-turned-"actor" DMX with Asian action icon Jet Li. The chemistry of the pairing is less than zero (which also sums up DMX's screen presence), but Li — when he's in motion, kicking out the kung fu jams — continues to be a thing of super-cool beauty, never breaking a sweat and hardly ever cracking a smile. A problematic command of the English language is still the main reason Li's not a bigger star, though, not that anything he says in this forgettable effort is remotely important. You know a movie's in trouble when Tom Arnold shows up and all but steals the show. Also stars Mark Dacascos and Gabrielle Union. 1/2
GANGS OF NEW YORK (R) Martin Scorsese's enormously ambitious new film about mid-1800s blood feuds and power struggles is a huge, magnificently sprawling thing that manifests all the power and resonance of classical myth. The movie's focus is the love-hate relationship between the characters played by Daniel Day-Lewis and Leonardo DiCaprio, but Scorsese constantly layers his cinematic mural with additional characters, historical nuances and stories within stories. Gangs of New York is certainly History Writ Large, but the bulk of it is as accessible as anything this director's ever done. The movie is big, bloody, ornate, passionate and full of over-the-top emotions, like a grand opera re-imagined as a really cool comic book. Also stars Cameron Diaz.
THE GOOD THIEF (R) Director Neil Jordan transposes Jean Pierre Melville's magnificent 1955 gangster noir Bob Le Flambeur (Bob the Gambler) to the sunny south of modern day France, a decidedly less kind and gentle place of vendettas, lap dances and quick fixes. The local color is pleasantly exotic, but the real reason to watch The Good Thief is Nolte himself. The actor's ravaged face and croak of a voice are a perfect fit with Bob's world-weary persona, while Nolte's real-life history is close enough to that of his character's to add a whole other level of resonance to the role. Other than that, the movie is content to basically just coast along, propelled by a self-consciously hip style and a blaring soundtrack fusing French hip-hop and Arabic Rai music. Jordan periodically ends a scene by briefly freezing the final image, as if he's trying to alert us to the iconic nature of his material by artificially extending the natural life span of a certain face or action. It's an interesting effect the first few times we see it, but it quickly becomes just another empty, stylistic tick in a movie that doesn't seem to have sufficient faith in the subtleties of its own story. Also stars Tcheky Karyo, Ralph Fiennes and Nutsa Kukhiani. Held over at Tampa Theatre. Call theatre to confirm.
HEAD OF STATE (PG-13) Are you ready for Presidential candidate Chris Rock? If so, this latest Rock comedy might be for you. Also stars Bernie Mac and Dylan Baker. (Not Reviewed)
HOLES (PG) Shia La Beouf and Sigourney Weaver star in this adaptaton of the award-winning children's book of the same name. Holes is about a teen sent to a detention camp for a crime he didn't commit. (Not Reviewed)
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (R) Rob Zombie's loooong delayed (and reportedly veeeery troubled) production finally gets a national release. Expect lots of gore, recycled 1970's atmosphere, cannibalism, inbred mutant families and other odds and ends left over from The Hills Have Eyes. Stars Rainn Wilson, Chris Hardwick and Jennifer Jostyn. (Not Reviewed)
IDENTITY(R) Mysterious deaths begin occurring at a desolate motel where a group of very different people have been stranded during a violent storm. Stars John Cusak, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet and Rebecca DeMorney. (Not Reviewed)
IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY (PG-13) A virtual love fest of all things familial, It Runs in the Family teams Michael Douglas with 86-year old dad Kirk for the first time in their careers and adds a gaggle of other Douglas' in the bargain. Michael's tattooed, twentysomething son Cameron turns up as his character's tattooed twentysomething son, and his mom Evelyn makes an appearance as his mom. They're all part of an eccentric family of upper middle class New Yorkers of the sort that wouldn't be out-of-place in a Woody Allen movie – except that director Fred Schepisi's film lacks the basic wit and flair of even the most mediocre Allen offering. Good intentions aside, the characters in It Runs in the Family are little more than colorful stereotypes adrift in a sea of cliches, with fathers and sons predictably butting heads and everybody coping with a big tragedy at mid-point. The movie is ultimately little more than a sweetly sanitized ethnic comedy that serves as a minor footnote to several of the careers involved. Also stars Bernadette Peters and Rory Culkin. 1/2
THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE (PG) The latest family comedy from Disney. Lizzie McGuire and her pals pack their bags for a class trip to Italy. Once there, Lizzie is mistaken for an Italian pop star. Lizzie gets transformed from a gawky teen to a beautiful starlet and a whirlwind of surprising comic events follow. And it's Disney, so the moral of the story and happy ending are sure to ensue. Stars Hilary Duff, Adam Lamberg, Robert Carradine, Hallie Todd and Jake Thomas. (Not Reviewed)
MALIBU'S MOST WANTED (PG-13) This film is da shiznit, in the pejorative sense. Jamie Kennedy stars as Brad Gluckman a.k.a. B-Rad, the son of a prominent politician who is campaigning for governor of California. Brad and his gaggle of gangsta wannabe friends mistake their affluent Malibu suburb for the ghettoes of south central L.A. Brad is a hopeless white rapper whose flamboyant behavior endangers his father's bid for office. To stymie further damage, Brad's father surreptitiously conspires to expose his son to the real hood as well as his own naivete to scare the white back in him. Each scene becomes more painful to watch as the exaggerated gangsta persona wears thin quickly. The plot is ostensibly corny, but the laughs are too sparse to make it all worthwhile. Don't even bother leaving your hizzy for this shizzle. Also stars Taye Diggs, Anthony Anderson, Regina Hall. —Corey Myers
OLD SCHOOL (R) Returning to his distinguished oeuvre of college comedies, director Todd Phillips (Frat House, Road Trip) takes a promising gimmick of three thirtysomething friends (Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn) who decide to start their own fraternity. Phillips unfortunately forms that tasty notion into a bland soy retread inspired by films like Animal House, but without the brains to retool the collegiate comedy genre. Vaughn and Ferrell, however, make an honorable effort to inject some much-needed goofiness into their parcel of the film. 1/2 —FELICIA FEASTER
PHONE BOOTH (PG-13) A nifty little pulp thriller that's considerably more than the advance publicity would lead us to expect. Collin Farrell turns in another fine performance as an ethically challenged PR guy who finds himself trapped in a booth and in the telescopic sights of a clever psychopath with a major grudge against him. The movie-length mindfuck that ensues is quite a ride, as they say, especially considering the film's minimalist premise — a hero unable to move from a patch of ground measuring only a few square feet — and the fact that one of the two main characters is a disembodied voice. It's a slight but, in its way, perfect concept, played with precision and verve, and building skillfully on a claustrophobic tension that keeps us on the edge of our proverbial seats. At an ultra-brisk 80 minutes, this is one no-frills popcorn movie that's high energy almost all the way. Also stars Forest Whitaker and Katie Holmes. 1/2
PIGLET'S BIG MOVIE (G) Audiences may feel exhausted at the prospect of another journey into the Hundred Acre Woods and at the feeling they'd seen all the Heffalumps and Woozles they could handle. But director Francis Glebas does a remarkable job injecting a much-needed dose of reality into A.A. Milne's tales of honey-crazed bears and manic-depressive donkeys. Stepping out from behind Pooh's shadow, Piglet proves himself a uniquely gifted and engaging performer, bringing poignancy to this story of a piglet who feels unappreciated and overlooked by the friends who eventually understand how much they need him. Bring a hankie. —Felicia Feaster
THE PIANIST (R) Roman Polanski's film is based on the memoirs of Polish-Jewish classical pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman, who continued to be devoted to his art even as he watched his world crumble and suffered an endless series of horrors and humiliations designed to rob him and others like him of dignity, humanity and, ultimately, life. The film's cool, reserved and utterly unsentimental style might sound at odds with the extremity of the subject matter, but it's all the more haunting for it. Stars Academy Award-winner Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann, Ed Stoppard and Frank Finlay.
THE QUIET AMERICAN (R) In a stunning one-two punch that began with Rabbit-Proof Fence, director Phillip Noyce follows through with this evocative Graham Greene adaptation, filled with the writer's trademark intrigue and sophisticated, world-weary wit. On the surface, the movie's a romantic triangle set in early 1950s Indochina, with titular quiet American Brendan Fraser moving in on Brit journalist Michael Caine's young Vietnamese mistress (the lovely Do Thi Hai Yen from Vertical Ray of the Sun). The woman's a not-so subtle stand-in for the country of Vietnam, of course (mistress to a variety of Westerners, colonized by the world), and the film plays out as an intimate account of the battle for her soul. The movie's elegantly mysterious atmosphere is due in large part to cinematographer Christopher Doyle, the Caucasian master of Asian imagery. Also stars Rade Serbedzija. 1/2
THE REAL CANCUN (R) Can't get enough of The Real World? Then prepare to tuck into this feature-length helping of the same from the show's producers. The Real Cancun is a big screen version of so-called reality TV, following a hand-picked group of a dozen or so attractive college kids as they hang out during spring break in Cancun, Mexico. Starring a bunch of soon-to-be-famous-for-15-minute wonders with names like Brittany, Amber, Nicole and Fletch. (Not Reviewed)
SHANGHAI KNIGHTS (PG-13) If you're gonna insist on making a distressingly formulaic sequel to a distressingly formulaic comedy, then this might be the way to go, by overstuffing it with so much nonsensical material that some of it is bound to charm through sheer willpower. Its 2000 predecessor, Shanghai Noon, ranked as one of the weaker "odd couple" comedies of late, with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson going through the paces in a dull action romp set in the Old West. Knights is clearly an improvement, with Chan and Wilson (both more animated than in the previous picture) heading to London to solve the murder of Chan's character's father. The anachronisms make Oliver Stone's dramas seem like cinema verite documentaries by comparison, yet it's perversely pleasurable to hear The Who's "My Generation" and "Magic Bus" in a film that's set in 1887. 1/2
SPIDER (R) David Cronenberg's elegant but icy new film is not only a movie about the human mind; it's a movie that takes place almost entirely within that mysterious gray zone, in the brain of a tormented schizophrenic nicknamed Spider (Ralph Fiennes). It's nearly impossible to know what's real and what is invention in the film's dense, eerie blurring of past and present, fact and fiction, as the adult Spider becomes a silent observer of his own childhood. In less time than you can say "Psych 101," little Dennis is exhibiting classic Oedipal warning signs, compartmentalizing all women as either saints or whores, and mentally transforming his demure homemaker mother into a series of vulgar floozies. Spider is like one of the makeshift webs that Fiennes' character is constantly fashioning of old bits of twine and stringing above his bed: a strange, sticky maze reflecting the labyrinthine mental processes of its maker. Also stars Gabriel Byrne and Lynne Redgrave. 1/2
TOP SPEED (NR) Another IMAX movie experience that is both entertaining and painlessly educational. Top Speed replicates the adrenaline rush of speed-freaks and charts the endless human obsession of going really fast. (Not Reviewed)
VIEW FROM THE TOP (PG-13) Part Miss Congeniality, part Bring It On, View From the Top is Bruno Barreto's tale of a small-town girl who works her way up the flight attendant ladder. Mike Myers does his cross-eyed best to haul this average movie out of the quagmire but doesn't, and the upward mobility of Donna (Gwyneth Paltrow) is rarely matched by the movie itself. More a collection of passe stewardess jokes than an entirely self-supporting movie, View From the Top is big-hearted enough to transcend its slapdash approach to structure and script. Unfortunately, the bad casting, silly jokes and laughably improbable ending prove more difficult to transcend, leaving us with a frustrating misfire. —Dave Stevenson
WHAT A GIRL WANTS (PG) Stuffy English stereotypes galore in this excruciating Romantic Comedy Writing 101 exercise from Dennie Gordon, who inflicts intelligence-insulting and blindingly obvious father-daughter humor by way of Daphne (Amanda Bynes), the illegitimate child of a New York hippie and her dad (Colin Firth), a distinguished MP. The British stereotypes fly thick and fast, from the crusty old grandmother to the rather charming British stuttering so perfected by Hugh Grant, but offered here by Firth. I laughed. I cried. I tried to fashion a crude noose from the threads of the theater seat. Firth does his level best with what little script and cooperation from the surrounding cast he gets and lends credibility and comic timing to an exercise that would barely even raise an eyebrow without him. The script is workable, and if some of the more heavy-handed Brit-stereotypes were ripped from the screenplay (and preferably stuffed down the throats of the writers), this would be the bubblegum-chewing crowd pleaser that it has the potential to be. —Dave Stevenson
—Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted
This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2003.