Project Runway Recap: California Catfights

Nicolas "The Feather Prince" has yet again stunned us with his wordsmithyness (it's a word, shut up): "Ombre of macrame." I don't know what that is, as I am not a gay man who lives for sparkles and I have recently gotten rid of my bedazzler, but I assume that it is fabulous based merely upon the way it rolls off the tongue, "ombre of macrame" say it with me...nice, right?.

Onto another team of interest who is slightly less fabulous, it looks like we have trouble in paradise for my fave little couple...  Mitchell and Ra'mon, how many times do people have to be told, don't mix business and pleasure! These two crazy kids...bicker, bicker, bicker. We know Mitchell sucks Ra'mon, you don't have to try so hard to tell us. He is the one who made parachute shorts in the pregnant lady challenge. Even MC Hammer didn't wear parachute shorts! Basically, Mitchell is not a great designer, but he is kinda cute when he isn't failing miserably so he has been kept around this long based upon the epic disasters of others. We get it.

And ok, maybe I am smarter than the average designer but AS IF (in the Clueless Cher voice) they are going to give two people the job of making one, fairly simple look. They all seem so shocked when Tim breaks the news about a second look, but these people should know, always be prepared, like a Marine or a Boy Scout or whoever says that. Oh and this second one is an avant-garde look...good lord is this a terrible idea.

This announcement really brought out the crazy and even more claws. Bitchy black-lady claws, which rival gay-man claws in both length and intensity. Yep, Epperson & Qristyl. Match made in heaven? Nope. As it turns out, Epperson is one condescending a-hole and Qristyl, well she still can't design.

Now, onto the part of the show that actually counts but is far less entertaining: the judging.

I was uber-pissed about the absence of Michael Kors until I realized that in this episode he has been replaced by Summer Roberts, the lucky girl who married Seth Cohen. This replacement is acceptable, but Michael better be back next week, I miss him and his snarkiness.

On the Runway, the looks from Team Shirin & Carol Hannah and Louise & Althea were amazingly impressive. Since as a general rule, I don't like most girls, this is hard for me to admit, but I think that both those teams were way better than the others who got into the top two. The ladies are kicking a little ass. I don't get the neoprene number from Team Ra'mon, just Ra'mon as Mitchell no longer gets to be a part of that team, Ra'mon is now a team of one, or a wolfpack of one if you will. Final shout-out to the guys, Logan & Chris, what a great avant garde look and the pieces actually make sense. Dude-bro high five of approval for those boys.


Finally, Ladies and gentlemen, your winner is...Ra'mon? (winning designs pictured left and right) Eh, whateves, I disagree but it made for good television as his partner, if you can even call him that, Mitchell got auf'ed in a Runway first, the winner and the loser on the same team! Madness I tell you, madness.

Welp, goodbye Mitchell, we will miss your silly frantically confused looks but not your crappy clothes.

See you all next week.


Designers remaining: 13

Cry count: 3

Complete emotional breakdown: .5

Use of the word “Fierce”: 2

Check out all the looks on’s Rate the Runway.

Welcome to Project Runway, episode three. Finally we got to see some claws come out AND a Runway first in the elimination. This is the Project Runway we all know and love.

But let's rewind, I can't get ahead of myself, even though I want to, because there is a lot of ground to cover. Things start off innocently enough, California, beaches, surfer girls, Tim Gunn in a blazer on the beach...yes, he wears a blazer to the beach, that man is all class, all the time. Also, in case you forgot about their sponsor, who they showed every ten minutes for the first 2 episodes, Garnier is the most amazing hair product ever and you should probably go buy some right now so that you too can have luscious, model-like locks (insert hair flip and smile here).

Now, I looooove group challenges, but I really loooooove doubles challenges because there is no middle child to keep the peace. Seeing two people try and make nice while not knowing a damn thing about the other one and secretly resenting that person is my style of reality TV. Watching this episode was like watching an arranged marriage go down in flames, big, fluffy, satin and neoprene flames.

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