Review: ‘Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire’ fails to answer the call

It pains me to know that I am of an age that actually remembers the excitement of seeing the original “Ghostbusters” in a theater when it was first released in 1984, and the awestruck euphoria that lasted well after the credits rolled.

For reasons that I can’t quite remember, I never saw the 2021 revival, “Ghostbusters: Afterlife,” in its entirety. I saw enough, though, including the overly-maudlin ending with ghost Egon, that I didn’t feel compelled to seek out a full viewing.

And here’s why. Most people who saw the original are now in their 60s or slightly younger. I’m 53, and while I love the OG ‘Busters, I don’t need to see Peter Venkman still strapping on a proton pack. I would be just fine with an entirely new cast facing new threats and featuring even cooler ghosts and specters in places other than New York City.

Hollywood, however, doesn’t trust people like me to buy tickets for an experience that isn’t steeped in nostalgia or so carefully plotted out that the obvious callbacks are so obvious that they’re not fun or fresh or even unexpected.

For me, that’s why the female-fronted 2016 “Ghostbusters” was such a disappointment. More attention was spent trying to find women who mirrored and/or mimicked the OG ‘Busters instead of taking time to come up with an actual story that warranted a feature film.

Sadly, the same is true for “Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire.”

Despite a solid cold opening, pun intended, that introduces the Manhattan Adventurers Society in 1904, “Frozen Empire” swerves away from anything original and pummels viewers with a montage of film clips, music videos, animated adventures, marketing ploys and toys that attempt to establish everything related from 1984 through 1989 as not just canon, but historical fact.

They even reference the “Statue of Liberty debacle of 1989,” for fuck’s sake.

For context, this would be like having the fictional child of Brian O’Conner and Mia Toretto play with a Mattel Matchbox Cars replica of his Uncle Dominic’s 1970 Dodge Charger R/T while watching a news report about the 23-year-old film franchise on TV that includes fake mugshots of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker.

It just doesn’t work. And “Frozen Empire” doesn’t stop there.

It resurrects the library ghost from 1984, along with the same actor playing the same library administrator (John Rothman). It also revisits pesky EPA inspector Walter Peck (William Atherton) from 1984, who’s now the NYC mayor. Sadly, Atherton just seems checked out, and the script tries to manufacture a snappy back-and-forth, this time between Peck and Paul Rudd’s character, that lacks any of the zing and bite of the same 1984 exchange between Peck and Venkman.

Speaking of Rudd, he still seems completely out of place in this world, and I’m a Rudd fan, but at least he is more captivating than Carrie Coon’s Callie Spengler, who just doesn’t seem to want to be involved in any scene in which she participates.

If it sounds like I’m just a grumpy old fan, let’s talk about what does work in “Frozen Empire.”

First and foremost, this entire movie could have and should have been focused entirely on Mckenna Grace, whose pint-sized Phoebe Spengler is a revelation, much like in “Afterlife.” Grace has the best lines, steals the most scenes and also has the best subplot adventure, involving a teenaged ghost girl named Melody (Emily Alyn Lind).

Of the returning OG ‘Busters, none shine as bright as Dan Aykroyd, whose Ray Stantz is enjoying a late-in-life resurgence as a YouTube personality hosting “Repossessed,” the equivalent of a paranormal antiques roadshow. I would gladly wade through the leaden nostalgia a second time just to watch Aykroyd masterfully fumble his way through asking viewers to like and subscribe to his channel.

And despite feeling out of place, Rudd manages to deliver a few should-become-iconic zingers, such as “You can’t have a sewer dragon flying around lower Manhattan like its Middle Earth.”

But, ultimately, “Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire” fails to measure up to its original source material, and barely holds its own with the problematic “Ghostbusters II,” because of its failure to concoct a decent big bad ghost that needs to be busted.

Director/co-writer Gil Kenan and co-writer Jason Reitman settle on Garraka as the villain, who has the ability to control other ghosts and can freeze things without much explanation. But, for some inexplicable reason, as soon as Garraka shows up on-screen in all its CGI glory (cough lame cough), it’s about as scary as fighting a snow-cone on a sweltering summer day.

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