Professional cycling continues to prove it’s a shady business.

Floyd Landis recently accused his former racing partner and seven-time Tour de France champion, Lance Armstrong, of taking steroids. His allegations made national headlines as statements like these always do when those accused are as accomplished as Armstrong. Landis’ comments turned out to be largely unfounded (we think) by anything other than his own opinion and perhaps a touch of jealousy for never having dated Sheryl Crow.

Since it has become fashionable to publicly accuse high-profile athletes of doping for personal gain, I would hereby like to make an accusation of my own. This Michelin Man is on the juice! Like Landis, I have absolutely no evidence to back up my claim but come on, look at the guy. He’s considerably more jacked up than Armstrong. So what if he never failed a drug test? Who these days has?

This article appears in Jun 3-9, 2010.