OK, WorkWeek, you've been getting on my last nerve for the four days. Today is your chance to straighten up and fly right. Show me the fucking Friday right now or else I will come back there and give you something to cry about.

Don't test me, Friday. Mama needs a bottle of Whispering Angel and some time with her ya-yas before it all goes to hell. Let's just get to it, shall we?

It's no secret I love Casa Tina (no, they are not paying me to keep mentioning them; I have a problem and I admit it. Judge me if you must), and this Friday night is no exception. After spending a few fine hours at Contain It and Trashy Treasures at the Dunedin Fine Art Center, there's a caipirinha with my name on it. And a Tacos Estillo Guadalajara. And also their mole poblano and plantain dessert… you get the idea.

What's that? Oh, yes, Trashy Treasures and Contain It! So, it's this nifty thing the Dunedin Fine Art Center does every year. Two things, actually. Trashy Treasures is their unwanted art and art supply sale, and Contain It! is… PODS decorated by artists. So, um, an art garage sale (Seriously, folks. You could get a damn Degas for pennies. PENNIES!) and a fringe-type art festival that thinks inside the box (Don't groan like that. It's Friday. You want intellectual comedy, come back Monday.) The artists (Jujumo, Sketchbook Gang, Coralette Damme aka The Crafty Hag, Mason Gehring, Heather Leisch, Victoria Block, Alain Salesse and Kyle Hooten) each art up a PODS and you have to step inside to experience the art. Bonus: At Friday's opening, you can get free hot dogs. You know, just to lay down a base for all the caipirinha.

Please buy this so Brenda forgets I’m teaching her dog bad habits. Credit: Brenda McMahon

If you're feeling artsy but not feeling Dunedin, hey, we don't judge you. We do think you should head to the Gasparilla Festival of the Arts in Tampa's Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park and Kiley Gardens. Why? Because all the art is there, and it's a juried show, which means you have a level of talent, skill and quality you don't always see. That doesn't mean it isn't fun. Three reasons to go: Carmada, the Emerging Artists Showcase and Brenda McMahon. Carmada is fun art, emerging artists are new art, and Brenda? She's my neighbor, but I feed her dog way too many treats, so you should go tell her how awesome I am so she doesn't get mad at me for making Ti fat. Also, she has some great pieces. You should go buy one.

Ah, what else? So much to do, and we're all out of Friday. For Saturday, take your pick between Nude Nite and Life is Mostly Straws (yes, we told you to do this last weekend, but I was there Sunday, it was excellent, and I didn't see any of you people, so get out there this weekend and see it before it's gone.) Nude Nite, for those of you thinking, "Hell, every night is nude night at Thee Dollhouse," isn't like that at all. Mostly. It's art, people. And, yeah, naked people. But don't think of it that way, because it's way cooler than that and you need to experience it to get it.

Movies more your thing? There's no shortage this weekend. Yesterday through March 15, the Tampa Bay Jewish Film Festival showcases the best in Jewish cinema. Saturday night you can see For My Father and Jerusalem Syndrome, and check their schedule for the rest of the fest.

Also on Saturday night: Son of Saul, the 2016 Oscar winner for Best Foreign-Language Film, will play in the gorgeous Tampa Theatre (OK, you could see it Friday, too, but you're going to be either at the MFA or Trashy Treasures, remember?). Popcorn just tastes better when it's sprinkled with rococo, you know?

Looking for a somewhat lighter film? Well, this may not be it. Nevertheless, it's not nearly as, um, severe as that. Head to The Vault for a showing of the classic What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and see.

Exhausted yet? You should be. It's Sunday, and you've earned a lie-in (Make someone who loves you bring you coffee and the New York Times in bed if you want a guilty pleasure.) Save your energy, because Sunday night you should head right back to the Tampa Theatre to say goodbye to Downton Abbey and your weekend all in one fell swoop. That's right, it's a series finale party in a style befitting the regal Masterpiece PBS drama.

Monday comes around again before any of us can truly master our weekend, but that doesn't mean we don't keep trying. We'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog Monday, too.

This article appears in Feb 25 – Mar 2, 2016.