True story: I like my dog more than I like any of you. Don't take it personally; she's a pretty kick-ass dog. She has her own Facebook page and Twitter, and I make no apologies for that.
No shocker, then, that she heads to the Keys with me when I go every year. And I do go every year, because when I divorced a guy who hated the Keys (don't ask) and wouldn't go except for once when our marriage was already in shambles (long story; not worth telling) I promised myself I'd never go more than a year without a trip to my beloved chain of islands. And I haven't. All the same, I love living in the Tampa Bay area , because we're not so far from paradise, really. So, while you're all gloriously weekending up here, I'll be sunburning the backs of my knees while I assess the danger of the Islamorada barracuda population at perhaps the most dog-friendly resort in the Keys, which is not so far from where they film Bloodlines (blatant plug for Ying Lo's Reasons to Watch column).
Even if you can't be me (and being me is sorta kinda awesome, if you're into weird crazy nerd shit), you can weekend like a pro. Here's your chance:
10. Down the Rabbit Hole opens at Bloom next week, but until then the folks at Bloom Art Center have a surreal treasure hunt happening around the 'Burg. #FindAlice to get free admission. The artists you'll see in next week's show have hidden small (and free!) Wonderland-themed art across the city. Watch Bloom's Facebook and Instagram feeds for clues.
9. Ah, the teen years, where the Florida Museum of Photographic Arts is right and we know nothing, because we’re stupid adults. Friday night, head to
FMoPA for their 15th birthday gala , with cake, food, and… socks? Dude, you’ve GOT to see these socks. Of all the things I’m missing while testing the quality of Keys sunsets, I’m going to miss my chance to get a pair of these damn socks. Grab me a pair, would ya?
8. Remember Slip N Slide? Picture that, only really incredibly huge. Slide the City Saturday with a thousand-foot-long waterslide through Tampa along North Boulevard.
7. Sunrise isn't the devil. Even on your day off. Check out the Sunrise Hike at Boyd Hill Saturday morning.
6. After the hike, head to Munch's to work off that exercise. Look, I'm not man enough to eat their "Biggest Breakfast in Town" but I won't exactly kick the field hash out of my bed, either. Oh, and they have grouper cakes for breakfast round 'bout now. Now, go nap. For about three or four hours.
5. Leslie Curan's ARTicles Gallery has Files & Film, a juried show of digital and old-school, by-God-when-I-was-your-age-we-didn't-have-autofocus film photos. Herb Snitzer, the king of awesome photos, judges. Saturday night.
7. Also Saturday night: That Child Of Always opens. April Hartley embroiders kids refrigerator art, but we have it on good authority she also embroiders… drywall? Yeah, this one's at Studio @620, because, well, embroidered drywall.
8. Saturday night is
also ArtWalk, and there’s some
cool art at
swah-rey you should see. The Donald as the Tin Man? Don’t mind if I do…
9. Sunday brunch? Um, yes, please. Except I want a burger, and hey, look what's new on the Island (Treasure Island, that is): BRGR. WHAT? Burgers: The new brunch. That's right, people, I'm taking brunch back.
10. And, of course, no weekend is complete without seeing CL's own David W. in a production of Modigliani, which has some nudity but, alas, is not his nudity. Or is it? Only one way to tell for sure, Loafers. Only one way to tell…
This article appears in May 12-19, 2016.