I have fond memories of Chili's. Although it's possible my family ate at national outlets before Chili's moved to town in the mid-'80s, I think Chili's took my chain virginity. Gently, and with grace. It was here that I first remember noticing good service, as my lemonade glass was filled almost a dozen times by invisible servers before I even knew it was nearing empty.
So, even though I can't remember the last time I felt a craving for Chileeeee's Baby Back Ribs, I was kind of looking forward to this visit. Turns out, memories are cruel.
To be fair, Chili's shares neither the gustatory grimness of Applebee's nor its blandness of menu. Sure, the restaurant covers its bases, but there is also the occasional piece of chain inventiveness. Tired of buffalo wings, boneless wings and buffalo chicken sandwiches? Try buffalo chicken sliders. They were tasty enough, too, the buns a bit too big and the chicken a bit too bland, but still worthy of decent bar food.
Chili's used to focus on its own brand of Tex-Mex, taken to deadening middle-American extremes, and that still has a big presence on the menu. Nachos are a single ring of chips, each one individually coated in black bean paste and a layer of cheese that covers the tortilla from corner to corner to corner. The restaurant's only nod to flavor in all of its "Southwestern" fare seems to be a predilection for sides of sliced jalapeno. Hey, it's something.
Chili's claim to fame is the popularization of fajitas. In the old days, you could barely see through the haze of steam coming from sizzling, cast iron platters carried in an endless stream from the kitchen. Meh. In execution, the terrible tortillas, bland grated cheese and sour cream are reminiscent of adult Lunchables, although the profusion of salt makes the meat and sauteed veggies palatable by themselves.
And, as a bonus, my 4-year old son loved that the children's menu had pictures of the food, so he could peruse and order on his own. So they've got that going for them.
RATING: 2 KICKIN' CHICKEN CRISPERS (OUT OF 10)
This article appears in Jan 21-27, 2009.