Anyone who's been to an elementary school cafeteria cannot help but notice, after the meds wear off, that too many children are fat and eating badly. Boys weigh more than small cows and girls are embarrassed to wear shorts.
What a shame. Kids should be at least 18 before suffering from body-image issues.
This is not complicated. When your kids head off to school, you are still required to feed them properly. You should pack a lunchbox filled with real food, mostly fruits and vegetables, in reasonable portions.
Look, I enjoy long hours staring ahead and I hate to cook. My oven has always been more conducive for storing expensive vodka bottles. And yet, on most nights, you can find me in my kitchen making lunch for the next day so my boys have something good to eat while learning to add, subtract and pick up girls.
I also save money by making lunches myself instead of paying for cafeteria food and I don't feel guilty about all the preservatives they aren't struggling to digest. If I can put together two healthy lunches for finicky and opinionated children while writing three columns and arguing proper laundry-folding with my finicky and opinionated husband, anyone can.
Some acceptable alternatives to school food include:
Organic macaroni and cheese, apple and yogurt tube.
Homemade pizza, pear, granola bar and celery sticks.
Peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches on whole-grain bread, carrots and a bag of strawberries.
Soft-boiled eggs, hormone-free cheese and crackers, cottage cheese and peaches.
Include snacks like nectarines, fig cookies, grapes, celery with natural peanut butter and raisins, or hummus and veggies. In addition to food, don't forget water canteens or, if the school has a student refrigerator, some milk without pesticides and growth hormones. Kids don't need boobs or acne — dressing out for PE is hard enough.
My children would like to eat pizza and brownies every day, but eat balanced meals instead because Husband and I are in charge, not them.
We pack real food every day, devoid of hard-to-pronounce ingredients, partially hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial sweeteners. We eschew meat and concentrate on a plant-based diet, thinking "1950s" when it comes to portion control, not "Texas circa 2010."
What is so difficult about this concept? Wouldn't it be nice for your daughter to get to 16 and not need laxatives to fit into her homecoming dress? Wouldn't you like your son to become an adult and not need therapy to undo all the damage of eating badly?
Some parents complain that their kids pressure them into purchasing junk food like Twinkies or Lunchables. Fine. Leave the little bastards at home when grocery shopping. If that's not possible, make them part of the experience. Teach the importance of reading labels and encourage them to help you look for healthy alternatives to the garbage their friends eat every day at school.
If you've never bothered reading ingredients, this habit may take awhile to learn. Even if you do have experience calculating calories per serving and deciphering additives in granola bars, you must always be vigilant.
Food manufacturers don't always announce when they're adding crap to your favorite items.
For as long as I can remember, I've served English muffins a few times a week. I would pour a few tablespoons of tomato sauce and some cheese for tiny pizzas. Thinking I'm one of those responsible moms, I always chose whole wheat options rather than the plain, white variety.
For shits and giggles one day, I looked at the ingredients and almost passed out.
"When the fuck did they add Sucralose?" I asked.
Once in a while, give the okay for a treat. Sometimes it's good to be bad. But most of the time, learn to live with their complaints and remember who's in charge. Pack napkins with little notes telling them how much you love them. That reminder might make them think twice before buying soda and moon pies.
Remember, guilt and manipulation is part of a healthy diet, too.
