As anyone who attended the June 15 qualifier event at St. Pete’s Octave Karaoke Bar knows, the 2013 U.S. Air Guitar Championships are the real deal for faux-shredders. It’s here that musical ability takes a backseat to showmanship, and competitors must leave everything they've got on the sweat-soaked stage to have any chance of advancing to the national finals.
Founded in 2003, The U.S. Air Guitar Championships have quickly grown from a cult-like niche gathering to a major event that draws big crowds, celebrity judges, and competitors from around the country. The brave performers who bare their souls for their art in front of screaming crowds of enthusiasts share a love of virtual axemanship and a dream of competing at the Air Guitar World Championships held annually in Oulu, Finland. (You knew Finland was going to be involved somehow, right?)
Rattlehead (aka Sean Doran) proved victorious at the St. Pete qualifier, with Nic Nokay (aka Robert Dominic Gianetta) taking second place. Both Doran and Gianetta will next compete in the Mid-Atlantic semi-finals on July 19 in Washington D.C., where they will share the stage with reigning D.C. champ Tommy Freteless, 2013 D.C. Qualifier winner The Marquis, and the up-and-comer Baberham Lincoln. (Stage-name originality is obviously a plus.) It might be worth the trip just to see D.C.’s “Godfather of Air Guitar,” Lance The Shred, who organizers promise has a special half-time performance in the works.
The U.S. Air Guitar Championships culminate in a national championship on Aug. 17, at the House of Blues in Los Angeles. Other events include stops in New York City (Tues., July 2, at the Bowery Ballroom), Chicago (Sat., July 27, at the famed Metro), San Francisco (Sat., Aug. 3, at The Independent) and a “secret show” that organizers are calling a “Dark Horse Wildcard Playoff” on Thurs., Aug 15, at an as-yet-undisclosed location. Air Guitar Hall of Famer Björn Törque (star of the cult documentary Air Guitar Nation and author of To Air is Human) will serve as “Master of Airemonies,” and 2008 Air Guitar World Champion Hot Lixx Hulahan will serve as a recurrent judge. Joining him at various cities will be “all kinds of funny and famous people.” (Organizers hint at personalities from The Daily Show, 30 Rock and SNL among others, though no one is confirmed.)
While some will laugh or scoff at this “competition,” these championships are clearly a celebration of music and all in good fun. And what’s wrong with that? Or, as the U.S. Air Guitar organizers put it, “In a time when U.S. political, economic, military and athletic dominance faces unprecedented challenges around the world, it is our belief that air guitar represents one endeavor our country can dominate without controversy. U.S. Air Guitar is here to make this possible.” Amen.
This article appears in Jun 20-26, 2013.
