CHER w/THE B-52S The pop-duo princess turned rock goddess turned dance-music diva just can't seem to bring her farewell tour to a close. Well, she did obviously pay a buttload of money for all those costumes, and probably won't have much of an opportunity afterward. I know there are plenty of folks out there who swear that first-wave Athens success story The B-52s used to be an exciting, edgy college-music phenomenon — and it's true — but come on, that was way back when, well, when Cher's farewell tour first kicked off. (Dec. 16, St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa)
GRAND BUFFET w/SCIENCE-NON-FICTION/WHOLE WHEAT BREAD/BREAKDOWN Another great bill of seriously underground hip-hop, headlined by Pittsburgh's talented masters of mischief, Grand Buffet. For the full story on those two guys, check out the Music column, or just be rightfully intrigued by the fact that one of their best songs is about a Little League coach who gets fired for using black magic to help his team win. Bling and bounce it ain't, and every act on this slate will likewise thrill you if you dig live rap that doesn't suck. (Dec. 16, Orpheum, Ybor City)
THE CIGAR STORE INDIANS The beloved Georgian roots-rock veterans return the loyalty consistently shown them by Bay area fans by making Skipper's the site of a CD release party for their newest disc, Built of Stone. (Dec. 17, Skipper's Smokehouse, Tampa)
THE CHASE THEORY/THE REMEDY SESSION "OH MY GOD MATT'S SO CUTE!" scream the little girls, referring to the Chase Theory's bespectacled frontman Matt Burke. But he (and his two compatriots, brother Danny Burke and J.P. Beaubien) have some talent, too, as evidenced by the 50 or so times the Planet has written about them. The Remedy Session is two guys and a girl from Fort Lauderdale who play similarly-styled rock reminiscent of, well, lots of other bands that play the south Florida circuit (Braid, My Hotel Year, Hot Water Music). They recently shared a bill with former Dismemberment Planner Travis Morrison, which I guess is some kind of endorsement. Both bands play smart, lean rock favored by boys and girls who read books even when they're not on the toilet. (Dec. 17, Rockerfellas, Bradenton)—Mark Sanders
REBEL MUSIC Hot on the heels of the Grand Buffet show comes another roster of underground groove talent, ranging from the jammy to the heavily World Beat-flavored to the straight-up rap: Tribal Style, Johnny Utah, Surreal & DJ Balance, Blackroot's Bongo, and Slopfunkdust bring the noise. We suggest you seriously consider this as an alternative to your usual weekend live-music sounds, if they're not already your usual weekend live-music sounds. (Dec. 17, Orpheum, Ybor City)
THE DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND w/THERESA ANDERSSON Over the course of the last 25 years, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band has taken the fabled tradition of funeral marching bands in their native New Orleans and melded it with funk, jazz, soul, gospel and R&B. The group has also been invited to record with some of the biggest names in music, from Elvis Costello and David Bowie to Modest Mouse and Dave Matthews. They're freaking legendary, man. Along for the ride this time 'round is widely hailed Crescent City singer-songwriter and violinist Theresa Andersson, who has herself amassed an extremely impressive resume of collaborations — she's worked with Galactic, Cowboy Mouth, The Radiators and Sonny Landreth, among many others. (Dec. 17, Bourbon Street, Tarpon Springs)
A DISCO CHRISTMAS STARRING KC & THE SUNSHINE BAND/THE VILLAGE PEOPLE/THE TRAMMPS Saturday Night Fever came out in '77. I was born in '78. Disco, therefore, was with me from the beginning, coursing through the amniotic fluid that protected my fetal state from harm. Hell, I may've been conceived while "Disco Inferno" blared from the eight-track stereo. None of these groups have done much since those heady days of glitter and glamour, but does anybody care anymore? This show is sure to feature the hits: "Macho, Macho Man" and "Shake Shake Shake (Shake Your Booty)" among them, though the concert's title, "A Disco Christmas," is a little bewildering — are they really going to play holiday classics in addition to their own? Something about the Village People singing "Little Drummer Boy" is just plain disturbing. (Dec. 17, Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater; Dec. 18, Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall, Sarasota) —MS
VANESSA WILLIAMS Who could have guessed, back when she was forced to relinquish her Miss America crown in the wake of some naughty tit baring, that Vanessa Williams would go on to become part of the scenery chewed so thoroughly by Arnold Schwarzenegger in Eraser? It was, after all, the finest action movie ever to feature both James Caan and computer-animated crocodiles. You're probably aware that Vanessa is a talented and accomplished all-around entertainer with several pop/R&B hits to her credit (most notably "Save The Best for Last"), but did you know she was once a backup singer for George Clinton? It's true. Expect a beautifully vocalized assortment of singles and holiday standards. (Dec. 18, Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)
PUNK FEST That only slightly off-the-main-drag North Tampa music-hole known as the Pegasus goes the distance again with an all-day, high-volume shindig. Don't get too hammered at the Vanessa Williams gig the night before, because this one starts early — 3 p.m., to be exact. The rundown: Car Bomb Driver; The Tim Version; Elysium; Stranded; So Far No Good; The Rest of Us; Wisenheimer; Ten New Toes; Dirty Sluts; and Officer Scott Anger. (Dec. 18, Pegasus Lounge, Tampa)
HOOBASTANK w/LETTER KILLS Tepid NorCal modern-rock outfit Hoobastank, and its cloying, hopelessly cliched hit pseudo-ballad "The Reason," are classic examples of how contemporary radio has become little more than the aural equivalent of a fast food drive-thru window. And not even good fast food, like Wendy's; it's more like Captain QuickBurger's Shit Chute & Cola Tubbery. It's filler, particle board, an unreasonable facsimile of music made and sanctioned by people more concerned with how an audience might want them to feel than how they actually feel. Support, and infinitely better (albeit still not all that amazing) product, comes courtesy of rising Christian almost-punk outfit Letter Kills. (Dec. 18, Jannus Landing, St. Petersburg)
HOT ACOUSTIC NIGHTS REUNION FESTIVAL Several of the singer-songwriters featured at past Hot Acoustic Nights showcases convene in Gulfport for the series' biggest event. Amy Steinberg, Justin Beckler, Lee Tyler Post, Rebekah Pulley, Sheila Kirsten Hughes, Claire Liparulo and RyanJoy fill the bill. (Dec. 18, Catherine Hickman Theater, Gulfport)
MOONSHINE STILL/BUFFALO STRANGE Moonshine Still hails from Macon, Ga., but don't expect to see them around town all that often — the band is currently building a national profile through dogged jam-circuit touring. The band blends all the usual styles with eclectic touches like gospel and trip-hop, and recently provided road-support to cult faves Leftover Salmon. The venerable, multi-hued local act Buffalo Strange gets the vibe going tonight. (Dec. 18, State Theatre, St. Petersburg)
GWAR/ALL THAT REMAINS/DYING FETUS You can't stop GWAR; you just can't. The legendarily theatrical metal outfit has been slaying audiences (often bringing audience members onstage to do just that) for longer than I can remember, and it still seems like a hell of a lot of fun. I wouldn't put on one of their records at home, but that's never been the point, and the band goes far out of its way to provide the best in offensive and/or gore-soaked entertainment. (The group will also be doing an in-store appearance and autograph session at Temple Terrace's Splattergod Records from 3 to 5 p.m.; Splattergod is located at 1441 E. Fletcher Ave., #135.) Sharing bus space with GWAR's huge, sweaty-ass costumes for this tour are northeastern metalcore act All That Remains and long-running old-school death metal/grindcore spectacle Dying Fetus. (Dec. 19, Masquerade, Ybor City)
KITKA This gifted a cappella group performs sophisticated melodic works from throughout Eastern Europe. (Dec. 19, Tarpon Springs Performing Arts Center, Tarpon Springs)
T.I. Southern rapper T.I. first garnered some notice a few years back with the Beenie Man- and Neptunes-assisted single "I'm Serious," but Atlantic Records is banking on a big breakthrough this season courtesy of his brand-new disc, Urban Legend. The album features all of the guest appearances that accompany a big-label push, including spots by Lil' Kim, Pharrell, Trick Daddy, Nelly and the ubiquitous Lil Jon, and Swizz Beats handled production for lead-off single "Bring 'Em Out." Expect the usual bouncy, clubby sounds. (Dec. 19, Club XS, Tampa)
JOSE FELICIANO Though many of his highest-charting hits have been covers of popular American songs, this blind, Puerto Rico-born icon is nonetheless the name English-speaking folks over 40 most readily associate with Latin pop music. He's a Grammy winner and vaguely counter-cultural figure (mostly for daring to suppose some Americans might want to listen to music influenced by other cultures) who also, oddly enough, became something of an in-demand cameo performer on '70s television. (Dec. 19, Lakeland Center, Lakeland)
RICKY SKAGGS Bluegrass hero Skaggs made his first appearance on TV with Flatt & Scruggs at the age of 7, and has been playing music in the public eye ever since. He's allowed himself to be influenced by other forms of music, such as rock and country, but always remained heavily reverent toward American roots and bluegrass styles. Tonight's program will feature holiday favorites performed by Skaggs and his famous family, as well as members of another well-known country-music clan, The Whites. (Dec. 19, Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)
MIKEY DREAD Reggae icon and music-production pioneer Dread hits town on a Wednesday night, and everyone who's the least bit interested in real reggae sounds had better be there. Dread's contributions to the art form are far too numerous to list here. Suffice it to say that he's probably aided the career of nearly every forward-thinking musician to incorporate Jamaican music in new and reverent ways, from The Clash to UB40, and has produced an insanely eclectic roster of artists that stretches from The Roots Radicals Band to former Guns 'N' Roses guitarist Izzy Stradlin and, recently, Seal. (Dec. 22, Skipper's Smokehouse, Tampa)
This article appears in Dec 15-21, 2004.