We don't have a crystal ball, so we can't tell you whether our fearless leader will actually shut down the government if he doesn't get his precious border wall. But just in case he does shut it down, here's a list of what won't be accessible to folks here in Tampa Bay.
• Department of Housing & Urban Development. Section 8 housing benefits will be impacted, as will those who are attempting to buy a home using federal programs like FHA.
• Internal Revenue Service. This effects you only if the shutdown lasts past Dec. 31.
• Social Security. Non-essential services will be impacted. For example, if you need to change your name on your card, you're probably gonna have to wait. However, if you get a Medicare check, that's an essential service and will continue.
• National parks. These, including De Soto National Memorial, will remain open, though there might not be a park ranger around. (Pro tip: You can still enjoy the parks and hike the trails.)
So, really, not a complete shutdown — and Fortune goes more in-depth about that, and why, for those who are curious.
Of course, if Mexico comes through and pays for Trump's border wall, like he said (he says it at 1:15) they would, there won't be a shutdown at all.
One thing's for sure — the government shutdown won't stop us! — subscribe to Creative Loafing's weekly Do This newsletter and never miss a beat.
This article appears in Dec 13-20, 2018.