1. Dudley Moore as Arthur Bach in Arthur (1981) As a kid, I wanted to be Indiana Jones. I discovered this classic comedy in my mid-20s and have considered Arthur Bach my personal Jesus ever since.
Killer line: "Not all of us who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we're not poets."
2. Humphrey Bogart as Charlie Allnut in The African Queen (1951) Rat Pack founder Bogie could out-drink anyone in Hollywood — back when actors took great pride in such a skill — so it was no stretch for the iconic screen star to play a gin-soaked boat captain opposite Katharine Hepburn in this cinematic masterpiece.
Killer line: Charlie Allnut: "A man takes a drop too much once in a while, it's only human nature."
3. Mickey Rourke as Henry Chinaski in Barfly (1987) The hard-living Rourke had no problem channeling real-life gutter poet/alkie all-star Charles Bukowski in this grungy gem co-starring a fabulously skanky Faye Dunaway.
Killer line: "Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance."
4. William Powell as Nick in The Thin Man (1934) Nick and Nora are the coolest onscreen couple of all time. He's older and witty. She's younger, sexy and also witty. They both swill martinis like a newborn baby drinking warm milk and, as if that wasn't rad enough, they're swingers!
Killer Line: "The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to foxtrot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time."
5. Billy Bob Thornton as Willie in Bad Santa (2003) Watching a liquored-up Santa give it high and hard to a random slut from behind, in public, is a moment of cinematic magic rarely featured in a major Hollywood production.
Killer line: "You can't drink worth shit."
6. Walter Matthau as Coach Morris Buttermaker in The Bad News Bears (1976) Buttermaker is that Little League coach we all wish we'd had back in the day: He cusses like a Deadwood cowboy, passes out during batting practice and hands out brews to the children when the team wins.
Killer line: Engelberg: "You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law." Buttermaker: "So is murder, Engleberg."
7. Paul Newman as Brick Pollitt in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) A young, handsome Newman shines as a former star athlete — opposite a young, hot Liz Taylor — who turns to the bottle after suffering a career-crippling injury in this film adaptation of Tennessee Williams' first-rate play.
Killer line: "Like a switch clicking off in my head. Turns the hot light off and the cool one on. All of a sudden, there's peace … Yes, sir, I am an alcoholic."
8. Elizabeth Taylor as Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) Edward Albee's dialogue might constitute the most vicious spousal exchange ever. Likely drawing from real-life love/hate emotions, hooch hound Taylor needles her hubby (Burton) with all the mercy of a Russian assassin.
Killer line: "Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under any goddamn table you want, so don't worry about me."
9. Richard Burton as George in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) But Burton's character is equally feisty, firing back zingers — in front of company — such as, "Martha is 108 years old. She weighs somewhat more than that."
Killer line: "Martha? Rubbing alcohol for you?"
10. John Belushi as John "Bluto" Blutarsky in Animal House (1978) Belushi plays that hard-boozing bear of a class clown everyone loved in college. Just remember, don't ever, ever try and reenact the scene where he slams the bottle of bourbon like it's a can of beer. Can't be done. Trust me. I've tried.
Killer line: "They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!" And of course: "Toga! Toga!"
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2008.