Review by Robert Jaquay
Originally posted at MyQmunity
As I write this review, we’ve just ended the annual celebration of National Coming Out Day. Unfortunately, we’re also mourning the deaths of several gay teens who felt that being gay is harder than staying alive.
Little did I know, as I was searching for the next good read, that I would find a book that seemed to be written for this particular moment in time: The Perfect Family (Bold Strokes Books, 2010) by Kathryn Shay.
In the world of stressors, coming out to family and friends is monumental. If you've gone through it, it’s one of the hardest things to deal with at any age. Add to that the difficulties young people, who are trying to find their place in the world, are facing, especially in a high school setting, and you have all the ingredients for something to go awry.
When you start to read The Perfect Family, you are introduced to a family whose life seems to be almost picture perfect. They are just ending a vacation together, and upon their return, they'll resume their lives, as usual. Every member of this tight-knit group not only cares for each other, but trusts each other completely. There are no secrets – or so everyone thinks.
Jamie, the youngest son is extremely popular at school, and has lots of friends. He also finds himself attracted to other boys, and wants to believe this is ok. Although he wants to share this with others, he's not sure how.
Luke Crane is a jock, and plays on the football team with Jamie's brother, Brian. Nothing about him says he might be gay, but after a few times in each other’s presence, Luke indicates to Jamie that they “have more in common than you think.” I mean, this was a daydream when I was in high school. Jamie has clearly found his opportunity to be who he is.
Love follows quickly, and the boys decide to go on a date. Because of the family's belief in telling the truth, when asked who he is going out with, Jamie tells Maggie, his mother, about Luke. Maggie tells the father, but knows his religious beliefs will be in conflict with his son’s sexuality. Jamie eventually tells his brother, and although the news that he is gay is unexpected, Brian is mostly angry at him for not telling him sooner. And so it goes.
Shay takes her story and develops it smartly, building the tension, but never to the point of overload. This is Jamie’s story, to be sure, but this is also the story of a family in turmoil. Each member has issues of their own to reconcile, and although the process is painful and slow, the outcome, we hope, will be good. The story also depicts the intolerance and blindness created by religious dogma, the loss of friendship, and the way families can be torn apart by a misunderstanding. It's a full bag.
In talking with the author, I was told about the genesis of the book. Although it is a work of fiction, she has a gay son who came out to her in much the same way Jamie does. In writing this novel, Shay not only pays tribute to the power of love and understanding we’d like to think everyone possesses, but to the importance of being yourself, regardless of the pressure to conform.
You owe it to yourself to read this book, for its message is very powerful. If you know a parent, friend, or a teen who is struggling with coming out, recommend or give this book to them.
Go here to listen to my interview with Kathryn Shay.
This article appears in Oct 21-27, 2010.