DANCING PENGUINS
They did what Blofeld never could: Beat Bond.
DOWN WITH TURKEY GENOCIDE
A shout-out to our vegan friends. Enjoy your tofurkey on Thursday.
UP WITH TRYPTOPHAN
We plan to fall asleep long before the Bucs are sacrificed to the Cowboys.
SILICONE BREAST IMPLANT BAN LIFTED
And separated.
AL-ARIAN REPORTER DATING PROSECUTOR
We always suspected that somebody besides Sami was getting screwed.
KISSINGER: "WE CAN'T WIN IN IRAQ"
Good ol' Henry, just as sharp and ahead-of-the-curve as ever.
PS3
Unemployed people sleeping outside for a week. Aren't we trying to cure this kind of social ill?
OJ'S CONTROVERSIAL FOX SPECIAL
Network execs said it was the only way to top the Katherine Harris boob-shaking interview.
TOMKAT MARRIAGE
What's the over-under on how long this one will last? The same as the U.S. remaining in Iraq?
CLEAR CHANNEL GOES PRIVATE
Also plans to unlist radio stations' telephone numbers to avoid those pesky listener complaints.
This article appears in Nov 22-28, 2006.