There are some people, a strange, demented few, who actually enjoy going to the airport. For the rest of us, going to the airport is like going to the doctor. It's no good while you're there, but you're happy you went once you've left.
TIA is growing faster than it can build – 1,546,333 passengers flew in and out in February 2005, an 8.6 percent increase from Feb. '04, and an estimated 100,000 people come through the airport on an average day. For folks who don't want to get caught up in the madness, I offer three places at TIA where you can avoid the crying babies, bad paisley ties and Seal tunes remixed to the soundtrack of Elevator Action – plus a few words from a man who works in the middle of it all.
The Café TIA
This place is not exactly quiet, but it's certainly tucked away. And cheap.
Across the street from the terminal, the Café TIA offers up inexpensive fare for the airport's employees.
Technically, it's open to everyone. But according to Bobby Perryman, a contractor working at the airport, the Café TIA is as exclusive as the Admirals' Club.
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone in here with baggage," Perryman laughs as he works on a $2.99 plate of fish and chips. (At TGI Friday's, which is perpetually packed, a plate of fish and chips will run you $9.59.)
You'll have to look hard to find the cafe – it's through an unmarked door on the first floor, across the street from the red side of the terminal. But check it out, see how the other half lives and save a buck (or six) along the way.
Just stay away from the chili mac and cheese. It's trouble waiting to happen, especially if you're about to get on a flight.
The Chapel
Holed away in a corner of the terminal, the six-year-old non-denominational chapel is rarely occupied. A small room with 10 chairs and a back-lit piece of stained glass for an altar, the chapel has about 10 to 15 guests a day, according to a nearby airport employee.
Jack Veneman from Zephyr Hills always gets to the airport well before a flight, so he can worship for a few minutes before he gets on his plane.
"It gives me some peace and strength," he says.
Even if you're more voyeur than prayer, the chapel's worth checking out. Its guest book is like an unedited issue of Found.
The highlight? Daily entries by, I assume, a woman who works at the airport. She's breaking up with her boyfriend.
"Dear: God," she wrote just last week. "I'll be patient for him. Help this love get back together."
The Ninth Floor of the Parking Garage
The "observation deck" off the main terminal may be a deck, but it's certainly not the best place to go observing, or to have a smoke, which is the only good reason to go out there anyway.
The prime spot is on the ninth floor of the parking garage – an uncovered oasis of fresh air and panoramic views of downtown and the bay.
Chris Weaver's found it.
A manager at Honey Baked Hams, Chris was up there last Friday morning, two days before Easter and one day before the busiest ham day of the year. "Tomorrow is hell day," he said. "We'll sell 8,000 hams this weekend."
But before the madness ensued, Chris had to drop a friend off at the airport. He parked on the top floor, as he always does. Chris has never taken a flight himself, but he's been to the airport enough to know where to go.
The ninth floor looks out over his grandma's old neighborhood, Drew Park. He remembers the area fondly – especially the old bomb shelter in her backyard – but developers are taking over now, and his grandma's moved.
"They're clearing everything out," he says.
You can't see that from the ground.
The Conductor
If you're looking for a lesson in staying calm at the airport, study James Sampson, who directs traffic in the infamous loading and unloading zones. "You gotta be able to deal with people," he says, which sounds like an understatement. It's his job to keep people moving – whether they're departing young lovers or businessmen off for their 15th flight of the day. He is not a popular guy.
Even an 80-year-old woman flipped him off the other day.
"That was so cute," he says. "It's good to know she's still got it."
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This article appears in Mar 30 – Apr 5, 2005.