Rick Scott low dude on Senate totem pole, but it’s OK — he’s throwing a party during the government shutdown

It's sort of honorable that Florida Governor Rick Scott's serving out his term as governor, because doing so means he's gonna lose some seniority in the Senate — three places, to be precise. The more seniority a senator has, the better choice of office space, committee assignments, seating chart on the Senate floor, and — we can only assume — cuts in line for food in the cafeteria. So, you know, Scott's decision not to resign early and let Governor-elect Ron DeSantis step in and start spouting about building a wall around the Keys or some horseshit like that could mean that Scott won't get a plum committee appointment and might be stuck, you know, with something less glamorous or — worse — an assignment that won't mean big money from lobbyists.

Scott did not accept a salary while serving as Florida's governor (but he did get perks like this which are not at all shady AF) and plans to donate his salary while in the Senate, so no doubt people will keep voting for him.

In case all that honor is making you feel conflicted about Scott, no worries — in the face of our president's temper tantrum about toilet training fails shutdown over real concerns, Scott's throwing a black tie event, with donors contributing between $10,000 and $100,000 at the "Black Tie Sunshine Ball." Donors who want a photo op for memes about Voldemort will pay a minimum of $25,000. It's nice to see Scott showing as much respect to the going-without-a-paycheck federal workers in Washington D.C. as he did to all the HCA hospital administrators who went to jail while he pled the fifth. Consistency: It's what's for dinner.

Ah, the Republican party of 2019… definitely the party of the regular guy.

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This article appears in Jan 3-10, 2019.