300
Finally, a foreign bloodbath America can love.
GATORS NO. 1 OVERALL SEED
Only remaining UF sport without a national championship: intramural field hockey.
'NOLES NO. 66 SEED
Still better than FSU's football team.
"MARCH MADNESS"
Is it asking too much for a new law prohibiting advertisers from using the phrase for the next 30 days?
ACC TOURNEY IN TAMPA
Newsflash: Apparently, visiting college basketball fans like to drink a lot.
SNOOP DOGG HELD IN SWEDISH JAIL ON "SUSPICION OF NARCOTICS"
The Swedes figure this one out all on their own?
AMERICAN IDOL
What an unforgettable talent-packed year, and we really love that, uh, one singer, ya know, with the great range, not too tall, ummmmm, we forget her name.
FRED THOMPSON
Former senator and actor could run for president on a … wait for it … law-and-order platform.
NEWT CHEATED
Gingrich acknowledges extramarital affair during Clinton impeachment; says the relationship took his mind off his meth habit and porno addiction.
HALLIBURTON MOVING HQ TO DUBAI
Cheney follows, setting up permanent vice-presidential bunker and assuming new title of "Emir Dick."
This article appears in Mar 14-20, 2007.