Gulfport, Florida is known for quirk. This LGBTQ-friendly epicenter of St Petersburg, with its motto “If it’s too weird for Gulfport it’s too weird,” is famous for hosting quirky events and queer people. Gulfport is home to a pink goat that struts around town during Valentine’s Day, an annual Gecko Fest Celebration, a Fairy Festival, a tree adorned with flip flops, parrots that ride shoulder on bicyclists, and more LGBTQ residents than one might find throughout the entire state of Florida. So when something quirky happens in Gulfport, it’s typically not a big surprise.
That is until a bucket of vibrators go missing a week before Gulfport’s Pride Charity Vibrator Race.
On May 17, two women entered Salty’s Gulfport bar and left with 13 stolen vibrators in a purse. The purpose of the vibrators? For a vibrator race fundraiser to support the LGBTQ resource Center during Gulfport’s first official Pride Celebration.
The next day, J.P. Brewer, owner of Salty’s, posted the following on Facebook: “Unfortunately, the Pride Charity Vibrator race has been cancelled. Funny, but not funny, these 2 pieces of [$#!&] came in the bar yesterday and decided to steal the bucket of vibrators lol! I would love nothing more to know her name as the police have already filed the report and watched the cameras. Any news would be appreciated …” Included was a photo of the women who had been captured on security cameras.
Reactions to the news varied from humor to disbelief to flat out anger.
“This may be the funniest post I’ve seen in ages!” wrote Sarah Wilson, a St Petersburg local.
“I Truly feel sorry for those vibrators!” chimed in Treasure Island resident Christine Giammarco.
I even chimed in! “Maybe we should do a BYOV for the race??”
There was also confusion over what a vibrator race entails.
“My wife says to have the race anyway 🙄. What is it like a 5k?” asked another commenter.
“I think they wear em. Lol,” Rebecca Jackson replied.
And others offered to donate money and vibrators to provide a happy ending for all.
Shortly after images of the perpetrators went viral, the two women were caught. Due to the low value of the theft and a 14-day follow-up window, arrests have yet to be made. However, it is obvious that their reputation has been tarnished for life.
The value of the stolen vibrators was estimated by Gulfport police to be $200, although Brewer claims it’s probably much higher. “I had just picked up three that were priced at $75 each,” Brewer reported to the Gulfport Gabber after the incident.
Last Saturday, seven vibrators were lined up on a plastic shingle roof adorned with rainbow and race tape. As vibrators were turned on, attendees surrounded the setup and waited patiently for the race to begin.
Attendees were encouraged to purchase tickets to bet on which toy would finish first. The vibrators were even given names and personal stories like “Destiny, Josie and Karen.”
As shaking toys took off down the grooved slope, participants went wild cheering on their favorite dildo. An excited energy pulsed through the crowd. In the end, the baby blue vibrator “Bella” performed the best and stimulated the crowd with a victory.
In the end, the women were caught, OutCoast.com and Smoking’ J’s Barbecue pitched in to replace the vibrators, and the Gulfport Vibrator Race was a success, raising over $1,000 dollars for the LGTBQ Resource Center.
This post originally appeared on Outcoast.com.
