Guys, what does your underwear say about you?

I've removed a few pairs of men's underwear in my day.  Some guys wear boxers, some wear boxer briefs, and some still wear whitey-tighties.  While I've never been good at palm reading, I have a sixth-sense for predicting what kind of underwear a man wears based on his personality.  Here's a brief summary of what your underwear says about you.

Boxers: Men who wear boxers tend to be middle of the road kind of guys.  They aren't the most outgoing in the room, but aren't wallflowers either.  You might have to start the conversation with these guys, but they will carry it through once the dialogue juices start flowing. In bed, the men who wear boxers are not the crazies who tie you up and pour hot  wax on you, but they do know how to have a good time.

Boxer Briefs:  This type of underwear can be deceiving.  The style is really just a glorified pair of tighty-whities in my book.  Some men go from boxers to boxer briefs.  Maybe having your junk freely roaming your pants isn't for you or you just feel more secure with your dick snugly against your thigh, stomach, ball-sack...  You're probably a fun guy in bed capable of loving me missionary style or flipping me around in odd Kama Sutra positions.  Either way, I'm okay with most of these guys. Those that wear the white variety are a little square.

Tighty-Whities:  This is the ultimate in nerdom-chic undergarments.  Does your mommy still label them with your name, address, and phone number?  Even a jockstrap is sexier than these things. I will sadly admit that I've bedded a tighty-whitie guy a time or two.  They can handle themselves just fine in the sack, but the underwear alone is such a turn off. Possibly because for many women it evokes embarrassing memories of their father roaming around the house in his saggy tighty-whities with company over.

Thong:  I saw a man recently at a local swingers club sporting his thong proudly on a communal bed. The only person he shagged that night was his wife. Enough said.

Bikini:  It's 2010 guys. The metro-sexual thing is done. Time to move on to some big-boy underwear.

The Trunk: The Trunk is a name brand (Calvin Klein), yuppy puppy underwear that should only be worn by those with an awesome package who know how to use it. The underwear won't make you a cock rocker, but if you have already reached that status please wear them with pride—-and send me pictures!

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