are secretive people. Most tend to keep their lifestyle and identity private to avoid a mirad of potential issues. Who wants their boss or worse yet mother know that they engage in sex with multiple partners? (Except my boss at CL...he thinks I'm cool). We tend to be evasive of where we go, how we meet people, and who we hang around with.
Since being in the lifestyle I am constantly amazed at who I run into at the local swingers club, on swinger websites, and at swinger house parties. At first I feel a little like hiding or just leaving, but the fact is that you both are there doing the same thing. I would have never guessed Mr. and Mrs. Smith from over yonder are swingers. How did I miss the cues? I don't remember them offering the secret handshake or wearing the secret symbol on a chain.
One of my readers told me recently "I've been asked on three separate occasions if my wife and I are swingers". (They aren't swingers.) I asked him "What makes someone think you might be a swinger?" He had no clear idea. Do swingers give off a vibe that vanillas can pick up? There really isn't a secret handshake and as far as I know there is no special symbol to dangle around your neck.
Swingers, in general, are open minded people (a bit more than average Joe). Some may talk more freely about sex than others and sometimes say things that will make others say hmm.
So if your friend oddly mentions that her husband is good with sharing or the guy in the cubicle next to you seems to have many conversations with women that are not his wife - she might not be losing her mind and he might not be cheating - they just might be swingers!
