Happy first day of alligator hunting season! This'll be quick, because I need to pre-order some boots:
A Largo woman was arrested for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend with a metal fork because he was making too much noise while putting together a bag salad bought at Publix as part of a BOGO deal (yes, that little detail is in the story). The police report said he had several "fork marks" on his head and arm. I guess you could say the couple's salad days are now firmly behind them…
Remember that Republican candidate for the Florida state legislature who said she was gonna stay in the race even after she was accused of lying about her college degree, then doubled down and posed with a fake diploma? Yeah, she's out. Which is weird, because judging by her behavior, she's perfectly qualified for the job.
And finally, the Florida Department of Transportation says that all SunPass transactions backlogged due to the system's "upgrade' being totally and royally screwed have been cleared, and customers should now be seeing their transactions in real time. And we'll leave you with this wonderful screenshot in which Florida's Turnpike made the announcement while completely and passive-aggressively throwing the contractor in charge of the transition under the bus. Cheers!
This article appears in Aug 9-16, 2018.