It's an important day in every man's life when he christens his Pink Panther with a classy, yet masculine title that not only conveys his Big Lebowski's physical prowess, but also his domineering personality. Is your Dirty Harry an olive skinned Spanish gentleman, like Christopher Columbus, who risks his life to explore virgin territory, or is he an all-American adventurer like Neil Armstrong prepared to land his lunar module on alien territory and be the first to plant his flag in the dark-side of the moon?
Ideally at birth our Popeyes would stand up and declare their presence, saying something like, "I AM Spartacus." Then they would be fitted with a hospital ID bracelet and some sort of cloak so as not to be confused with the other Lincoln Logs scattered about the baby room. Realistically though, your Big Ben will have many different names throughout its life: potty training names your parents use for your Frogger, little league names before you realize the full power of your Louisville Slugger, the squire name you anoint your Merlin with after your first magical sexual encounter, the name ex-lovers and the conquered use to refer to your Beaver Cleaver, and finally the knightly name you dub your Excalibur after it becomes battle tested.
Men learn early on that your Captain Marvel holds a superpower that, when unsheathed in public, can
This article appears in Jan 13-19, 2011.