Oracle of Ybor: After a long time together, I think I’m finally ready to end it with my partner

Dear Oracle,

My partner and I have been together for a long time despite the many signs that we should part ways. I’m finally ready to end things. I’ve recently found love in the most unexpected of places, and it feels like the universe is pulling us together. Though both of our lives are in transition right now, do the cards see a promising future for me and my new love interest?—Burning for New flame

Current situation with partner: Temperance, Six of Pentacles (reversed), Two of Cups, (reversed)
What you need in this transition: Seven of Swords, Page of Wands, The Chariot (reversed)
Future with new flame: Five of Wands, The Fool (reversed), Waning Gibbous

Dear Burning,

While you technically only asked me one question, I felt like there were three lurking: what to do about your current situation, what you need during this time, and—your question—what does the future look like with this new flame. I asked the first two because if it was simple enough to just break up, you would have. Long relationships often produce things (houses, children, businesses, friend groups), and it’s worth figuring out how to leave one before starting anew.

The good news is that your current partner might feel the same way. With Major Arcana Temperance, the emotions are pretty level-headed. This is not a smashing plates and screaming “Fuck you!” kind of ending. This is a long, quiet talk at the dinner table. It looks like you both loved each other for a very long time, gave so much to one another, but now it’s time to close that door.

While I think Gwyneth Paltrow has introduced a lot of nonsense into the world, I have to credit her with introducing “Conscious uncoupling” to the masses. It’s essentially a thoughtful way to break up. Our lives become intertwined with those we share it with, and to part does require untangling. With Six of Pentacles and Two of Cups reversed, I think it’s worth being conscious and generous (emotionally) with each other as you separate finances, figure out living situations, draw up custody plans, or do whatever you need to do. It’s important to end on a good note—as much as possible—because you will need to move on fully.

For the transition, I want to start with The Chariot reversed. As I’ve written before, The Chariot is a powerful card, all about momentum and focus. It’s the card that will pull you out of a bad situation and set you down a new path. But, to be able to handle that, you need to know yourself and what you want. There are deep-down beliefs you have, which you need to remember—because you also need to rediscover yourself. (If this sounds like opposing advice, it’s because it kind of is.) As the Page of Wands, you will experience a new level of freedom you haven’t had in years. You are no longer one half of a partnership. You are you, full stop. You now have the time and freedom to discover parts of yourself and to try new things.

However, with the Seven of Swords lurking by, you will have to be conscious to not fall into old (or new) patterns of self-destructive behavior. Remember what you want. Remember what those red flags were in your last relationship and what you wished was different in your life.

The Seven of Swords can also be a deception—not seeing something as it really is—but it’s often a self-deception. You are moving forward with your life. You are exploring and growing; you don’t want to end up back where you started. You probably know if your gut if something feels like a familiar pattern if you’ve seen this scene play out before. If it does, ask yourself if it’s what you really want?

Because, again, while The Chariot can drive us away, it can also drive us right back into a destructive pattern if we let it.

As for the future with you and your new love interest, I have some very boring cards. It is not a big sweeping wedding or passionate lovers—though that doesn’t mean those things can’t happen. It’s just not where you’re both at right now.

What we have is potential. With The Fool, you’re starting out into a new horizon with hope in your heart. Your new partner might be starting out the same way. I’m not sure. With the Five of Wands, I’m not sure if you’re sure either. Miscommunication and division are at the heart of Five of Wands. This usually breeds conflict (it’s often a card for war), but it can also be a sign that you shouldn’t assume anything. Things need to be discussed (in detail!), and you both need to listen to each other.
With The Fool reversed you have to take a beat before this relationship can start. Don’t rush things.

The waning gibbous reminds us again of old patterns and obsessive thoughts. I don’t know if you maybe rushed into relationships before or maybe took more of an “ask questions later” attitude, but for this new flame, I’d really encourage you to know a lot about them, to know where they stand on issues that are close to you, and to have a talk about what kind of future they would want to see. (Are they looking for something serious? Do they want children? What would they want their lives to look like in 10 years?)

Now, none of this is to say you shouldn’t start something up with this person. This isn’t to say that the universe isn’t pulling you together. But Kismet can only do so much. We have to take over for fate and put in the work. I know, it’s not that romantic. But, I think if this is something fated to be, long conversations with someone who sets your heart a-fire won’t feel like work.

Best of luck, my dear.

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