BEST RIGHT-WINGER
Ronda Storms
Who fights for morality, or at least the Christian Coalition definition of morality? Who leads the pack when the fight is on the right side of the political spectrum? Who personally insulted gays, lesbians and pro-choice advocates throughout this county and turned Tampa into a national laughingstock? Hillsborough County Commissioner Ronda Storms, of course. Love her or hate her, Storms came out of nowhere in 1998 to win a seat on the commission and has since become the No. 1 force dividing our community today.
BEST LEFT-WINGER
Norwood Orrick's BlogWood
As sorely tempted as we are to list Dave Andreychuk of the Tampa Bay Lightning in this category, we are talking about politics. Then again, since there are no outstanding progressive, left-wing elected officials remaining in Tampa Bay politics, Andreychuk may be as good a choice as any. But the award goes to Norwood Orrick, whose BlogWood represents the closest thing we have to progressive political thought. www.blogwood.com.
BEST POLITICAL MOVEMENT
Political redistricting reform in Florida
Yes, it is a supposedly nonpartisan effort that was in reality started by the Democrats, and it includes relatively minor players from the Republican Party while featuring Democratic heavy-hitters Betty Castor and Bob Graham. And yes, the Committee For Fair Elections screwed up and can't count, exceeding by six words the limit allowed in ballot language for one of its three constitutional amendments aimed at establishing an independent commission that would be in charge of drawing Florida's voting districts. Despite all that, the Common Cause-led effort to end the Legislature's gerrymandering free-for-all is still our favorite political movement. It's crucial, aimed at reintroducing true choice in political elections; it's hard for voters to grasp and — probably — doomed to failure.
BEST SHOOT-FROM-THE-HIP LEGISLATION
Senate 436: Relating to Protection of Persons/Use of Force
You just can't get enough gunplay in America. If it's not all over our kids' video games, it is out in the street for real. This year, the Legislature figured (with some help from the NRA, of course) that times were tough for the lil' ol' gun owner just walking down the avenue and minding his/her own business when accosted by a criminal. So they changed state law to expand the Florida's "Castle Doctrine," which previously indemnified only those who defended themselves against intruders in their homes if they prove they could not safely escape. The change, approved overwhelmingly by lawmakers, said gun-toters can do the same outside of the home, in darkened alleys or out on the streets of Florida, regardless of whether they could instead turn and run away. Floridians now have "the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force," according to the expanded law. Yip!
BEST VETO
Jeb Bush nixes the Road Rage Reduction Act
Has this happened to you? You're driving the speed limit in the far-left lane on the highway when a big-ass pickup truck pulls up inches from your bumper and tries to bully you out of the way. You're going 57; the pickup driver wants to go 77, and perhaps proceeds to flash the headlights and flip you the bird. The Road Rage Reduction Act wanted to make it incumbent on you to move over — and risk being ticketed if you didn't. After all, your dilly-dallying at the speed limit might get the pickup driver all raged out and then cause havoc in the other lanes. How dumb is that? The Florida Legislature thought the idea whip-smart, passing the bill overwhelmingly in both chambers. But the guv stepped in and wiped it out. Good work. Maybe law enforcement, which supported the bill, should concentrate on busting those tailgating maniacs and not the law-abiding folks who can't get out of the way.
BEST SECURITY FOR A TERRORISM TRIAL
The U.S. Marshal's Office
After learning that the children of co-defendant Sameeh Hamoudeh had passed him a Father's Day card inside a stack of legal papers during the Sami Al-Arian terrorism trial, the boys in dark suits surrounded the defense table to ensure that no further greeting materials made their way into (allegedly) dangerous hands. They then spent two days hassling defense attorney William Moffitt over boxes of copies given to him by Al-Arian's son. Next up: twice-a-day strip searches of the jury to find their stash of NoDoz.
BEST MELTDOWN
Scott Maddox's campaign for governor
Groomed for political greatness from birth, Maddox was the young buck mayor of Tallahassee and a future star in the Democratic Party just four short years ago. All of that came crashing down just as he geared up his run for the Democratic nomination to be the candidate crushed by Charlie Crist in the governor's race in 2006. Maddox followed his mayoral stint with a term as chairman of the Florida Democratic Party, a perch that allowed him to build a campaign organization and goodwill in the party — until a federal tax lien emerged. Under Maddox, the party failed to send in 2003 payroll and Social Security taxes, and the feds earlier this year filed a lien that froze party assets. A cascade of headlines and questions about Maddox's financial management followed, and the Boy Wonder appearing to throw a party bookkeeper under the bus didn't help either (despite the fact that she took blame for herself). More revelations followed that. The St. Pete Times revealed that Maddox represented controversial developers seeking approval from his former city government. A party audit cleared him of an allegation that nearly $1 million was missing from party coffers, but the damage was done, and his campaign was viewed as mortally wounded.
BEST KOOKY CAMPAIGN
Randall Terry for Florida Senate
Things 'round Operation Rescue were slowing down after laws and court rulings made it tougher for anti-abortion activists to harass scared little teenagers. So its founder, Randall Terry, has found another calling: campaigning for public office. Terry, a Republican (natch), has picked a primary fight with another Republican, Florida Senator Jim King from Jacksonville, who apparently is not Republican enough. This time out, Terry is fueled by his failure to "save" Terri Schiavo's life. For those with short memories, it was Terry who said of abortion doctors in 1995, "When I, or people like me, are running the country, you'd better flee, because we will find you, we will try you and we will execute you." Now he's apparently expanding his death list to include fellow Republicans. Lighten up, Francis.
BEST DROPPING THE BALL
The Ford Amphitheatre
Clear Channel Entertainment made a lot of promises in 2004 when it worked a sweet deal with the money-grubbing Florida State Fair Authority to build a 20,000-seat concert venue on the Fairgrounds. Clear Channel insisted it would be a good corporate neighbor. It pooh-poohed those who worried about the impact of loud rock concerts on nearby homes. It drew designs that showed a low roof to minimize the sound. In the end, it changed those approved designs and built a roof 40 percent higher with a completely different speaker configuration. Hundreds of sound complaints followed, as did legal action, as Clear Channel fought against the county's Environmental Protection Commission. So who was watching this project to make sure it got built and operated right? The Fair Authority? Hillsborough County officials? No one? Answer: C.
BEST CONSPIRACY THEORY
Killing Terri Schiavo
This year's convoluted black-box best involves our own Political Whore, Wayne Garcia. He was dissected on the Free Republic conservative website by those fighting to intervene in Terri Schiavo's death, linking him to a vast conspiracy to kill her that also involved: his former political consulting firm, the St. Petersburg Times, the Tampa Tribune, the Gainesville Sun, the Church of Scientology, former Sheriff Everett Rice, his former partner Mary Repper, her husband William Repper, Judge George Greer (one of Garcia's former clients and the judge in Terri's case), Martha Lenderman, her brother Judge John Lenderman, Hospice of the Florida Suncoast, Tom Cruise and "the weakley planet," which is — according to conspiracy theorists — "a worthless communist rag not worthy for bird cage lining." www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1400868/posts.
BEST CONTROVERSY OVER MAN'S BEST FRIEND
Palma Ceia Dog Park
The trouble with dogs, quite frankly, is that they smell, they poop everywhere and they tend to bark a lot. Or at least, that's what some uppity folks in the neighborhood around the city of Tampa's Palma Ceia Dog Park said when the off-leash canine area opened. What ensued was an ugly fight between dog lovers who took their pooches to the park and some neighbors who didn't like the intrusion into their quiet neighborhood. The opponents asked the city to shut it down, and when it refused, the angry neighbors sued. Roll up a newspaper, hit them on the nose and say, "Bad neighbors, bad neighbors." 2904 W. San Miguel St., Tampa.
BEST IRONICALLY NAMED HOUSING TRACT
The Preserve @ Placido Bayou
When salespeople in the late '80s squired prospective buyers around Placido Bayou, a lovely gated community in Northeast St. Pete, they proudly pointed to a large expanse of woods along the main road. "That's The Preserve," they'd say. "It's going to stay just like that, which will lend an ongoing natural beauty to our community." Within a handful of years a good chunk of The Preserve had been excavated and turned into condos. Once the townhomes were habitable, the builder proudly put up the sign calling the subdivision "The Preserve." It was pretty damn cheeky for the developer to call the place The Preserve after he did anything but preserve it. Builders like to name their projects after stuff they destroy, but The Preserve is a particularly ludicrous example.
BEST NEW PUBLIC OFFICIAL
Pinellas School Superintendent Clayton Wilcox
Brash, bold and newsworthy, Clayton Wilcox inherited a moribund Pinellas County School District that had fallen mightily from the days when it was considered among the best in the nation. He also landed in the middle of a PR nightmare: Two students were hit and killed in traffic accidents after getting off their buses. His openness and candor, unheard of for the normally bureaucratic position, reassured the public. He's also taken on powerful forces within the teaching ranks, as well as his own school board, in trying to shake things up. And talk about government in the sunshine: He's an e-mail and blogging fanatic, making his mail and thoughts available online 24/7.
BEST COURAGEOUS ACT (POLITICIAN)
Republican lawmakers who voted against intervening in Terri Schiavo's life
Nine members of the Florida Senate. Nine in the Florida House of Representatives. Five in the U.S. House. Those are the numbers of Republican lawmakers who stood on principle against their own party and smear attacks from the wingnuts fighting to keep Terri Schiavo alive against her will. Those with courage from the Bay area included U.S. Congresswoman Ginny Browne-Waite; state Sens. Nancy Argenziano of Dunnellon and Dennis Jones of Treasure Island; and state Reps. Everett Rice of Treasure Island, Charlie Dean of Inverness, David Russell of Spring Hill, Tom Anderson of Dunedin and Leslie Waters of Seminole.
BEST COURAGEOUS ACT (CITIZENS)
Fighting Wal-Mart in St. Petersburg
They say you can't fight City Hall. And Wal-Mart sure as hell is a lot bigger than City Hall. So fighting against the world's largest company's plans to open a 150,000-square-foot super center on Gandy Boulevard in St. Petersburg might at first blush seem foolish or a waste of time. A group of committed neighbors, environmentalists and other activists didn't think so, and they took up the cause. Brighton Bay homeowners hired a lawyer (one told them they had only a 10 percent chance of success) and a traffic consultant to plead their case at a scheduled showdown with America's retailer at a St. Petersburg City Council meeting in August. It never happened; Wal-Mart backed down before the meeting, pulling the plug on its center after failing to resolve sticky traffic issues.
BEST NEWSPAPER REPORTER
Jeff Testerman, St. Petersburg Times
Nobody covers dirt better than Testerman, the Times' veteran investigative reporter who has focused his work in the past few years on crooked land deals, forged names, bogus mortgages and other real estate-related crimes. It's not sexy stuff, and Testerman is not a prose stylist. But that's not his job, and that's not his value to readers. Given all the land speculation, condo flipping and other dubious stuff going on that's driving up the cost of a home, we can thank Testerman for being willing to dig into the dirt.
BEST TELEVISION REPORTER
Mike Deeson, Tampa Bay's 10
From pissing off Tampa Mayor Pam Iorio to questioning the millions of tax dollars spent to send government employees to lavish, upscale resorts for meetings, Deeson consistently pokes a finger in the eye of the establishment. His best work, though, was wading through city employees' e-mails he obtained through public records and revealing how those workers improperly used their time and computers for personal business, in some cases sending nude photos or inappropriate jokes. The city disciplined 44 employees.
BEST NEWSPAPER STORY (FICTIONAL)
Brad Smith's tow truck tale
When ace Tampa Tribune reporter Brad Smith lied in the lead of his story about the tow truck industry, he allowed his former employer to join the ranks of the shamed and bowed in American journalism. Smith placed a central character in his tale at the site of where her car was towed. It turned out she was at home watching her kid and not out "club-hopping" that night. Smith, however, was there that night, something he didn't reveal in the story. The newspaper summarily fired him and spent months investigating his other suspect stories and methods.
BEST NEWSPAPER STORY (FACTUAL)
The St. Pete Times' 'What Went Wrong' series
For a week in March, the Times stepped away from decades of boostering for Major League Baseball and used the occasion of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays' 10th birthday to take a cold, unflinching look at what went wrong with the sorriest franchise in town (and, little spurts of quality play excepted, probably all of pro sports). The D-Rays suffer from poor ownership, horrible player personnel decisions, bad luck, institutional baseball problems and a market that hasn't supported the sport, the series found. Kudos to writers Marc Topkin, Damian Cristodero, Gary Shelton and Louis Hau.
BEST JOB
Paul Wilborn, Creative Industries Manager, City of Tampa
OK, so he didn't know for months exactly what his job title meant. For former journalist and practicing pianist Paul Wilborn, the call from Mayor Pam Iorio to return to Tampa led to the gig of a lifetime and the best job in Tampa Bay. He meets with artsy types. He attends gallery openings. Sips wine. Hobnobs with the local glitterati. Doles out the city's unused resources for cool arts projects, like allowing Experimental Skeleton to install a gallery in the old baggage building at Union Station. His job description, in his own words: "Putting people together and making something happen." Oh, and he makes a sweet $90,000-plus of our tax dollars a year while doing it.
BEST GIFT TO POLITICAL WRITERS, PART 1
U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris
We have no doubt that the darling of Florida's GOP know-nothing wing has been treated unfairly by the media and Democratic haters. She was, after all, a moderate — if not wealthy — little state senator before hitting the big time as George W. Bush's personal savior. But now Katherine Harris is parodying herself in her role as the best ditz running for the U.S. Senate. Her appearance on Fox News Channel's Hannity & Colmes on the kickoff of her campaign was priceless, as she angled back and forth on camera, smiling and posing like a wired topless dancer. You gotta see the video, online at www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,165301,00.html.
BEST GIFT TO POLITICAL WRITERS, PART 2
Hillsborough County Commissioner Brian Blair
He's tried to kill the local transit system, with Ronda Storms' help. He's still trying to privatize the county's nationally recognized health-care system for the working poor. But former pro wrestler-turned-politician Brian Blair's most outrageous stunt was akin to applying "The Lethal Dropkick" to a little old lady when he tried to wrest county advertising out of the left-leaning La Gaceta weekly newspaper because its editor, Patrick Manteiga, criticized him in a news column. C'mon, big guy, put those yellow-and-black "Killer Bee" tights back on and get some thick skin. And some brains, while you're at it.
BEST CURSED ROAD PROJECT
The Lee Roy Selmon Crosstown Expressway expansion
First, one of its piers sunk into the ground, causing a raised highway section to buckle. That put the expansion of the Lee Roy Selmon Crosstown Expressway months behind schedule as all of its piers were tested, while engineers pointed fingers and the Expressway's director quit. Now, motorists who drive the older at-grade section of the Expressway are finding their cars splashed by sealant and their tires flattened by errant nails. All for only a $2.25 cash toll!
BEST HYPE
Trump Tower
A new high-rise gets announced in these parts about twice a week, and usually generates ample coverage in the local dailies, sometimes on A-1, sometimes in the business section. But let The Donald bless Tampa by choosing it for another one of his Towers and, by golly, don't folks get the vapors? The Times and Tribune wrote dozens of stories about the proposed project, discussing its business, social, cultural, political, artistic, anthropological and vertical ramifications. All this with the building a long way from breaking ground, and the developers with plenty of hoops left to jump through. If Tampa Bay needs the imprimatur of Trump to feel Big Time, well, that's a shame.
BEST PARK WITH POTENTIAL
NCNB Bank Plaza Park
When it opened in 1988, the small urban park on the Hillsborough River in downtown Tampa saw little fanfare. It was above street level next to the "beer can building," making it hard for pedestrians to see it. Maintaining its myriad geometrical pavers and leak-prone canals and fountains proved too much for a cash-strapped city, and it was allowed to go into disrepair. Few in Tampa even knew that the neglected park was internationally studied by students of the work of its designer, Dan Kiley, the most important landscape architect of the past 50 years. With its grass dead and trees overgrown, reflecting pools paved over and fountains long ago turned off, the Kiley-designed park was set for demolition but got a second life when Tampa Museum of Art expansion plans fell apart. Today, a group of preservationists, architects and landscape designers are fighting to bring Kiley's creation back to life. As an urban oasis along Mayor Pam Iorio's planned riverwalk, the NCNB Plaza Park might just get its due as a brilliant piece of urban landscape design. 400 N. Ashley Drive, Tampa.
BEST BAIT-AND-SWITCH
The new Tampa Museum of Art
It's been a rough year for Tampa Museum of Art supporters. They raised millions of private dollars for a long-desired new home, designed by internationally recognized architect Rafael Viñoly. Then, at the 11th hour, Mayor Pam Iorio squashed the plan begun during the administration of her predecessor, Dick Greco. Iorio then turned her sights on putting the collection-challenged museum into the former federal courthouse. But when the museum board (and many in the public) turned ugly on that notion, Iorio was forced to retreat and seek Plan C. One small problem: there was no Plan C.
BEST CELEBRITY BREAKUP
Morgan, Colling & Gilbert becomes Morgan & Morgan
Anyone who's lived in the Bay area for any length of time, and who has a tendency to watch TV in the afternoon or late evening, long ago fell in love with Orlando-based law firm Morgan, Colling & Gilbert via its ubiquitous low-budget commercials. When they said they were "for the people," man, you could believe it. Which is why we were shocked this year by the new Morgan & Morgan ads. What happened? Where were Colling & Gilbert? Were they no longer "for the people"? Maybe some photos of Morgan and Morgan strolling hand in hand on a foreign beach surfaced — the TV spots weren't saying. But a little piece of our hearts died along with the legal union we once thought of as eternal as forever itself. www.forthepeople.com.
BEST PLACE TO GET IN TROUBLE FOR TAKING NOTES
International Plaza
Maybe it was because Planet reporter Max Linsky was near the kiddies' playground. He'd also been in the mall for two hours without buying anything. Whatever the reason, the International Plaza security guard who tapped Max on the shoulder that day did not want him taking notes. It seemed understandable enough. At first. "I'll just show him a business card," Max thought. "After all, I am here doing research for the Planet gift guide. You can't buy this kind of free press." But the business card didn't work. Neither did a look at Max's notebook, which was filled with information on sensitive data like book prices and massage chair features. With a hand placed squarely on the small of Max's back, the guard showed him to the exit. "What if I stop taking notes?" Max asked. "Can I still shop?" "I can't let you do that," the guard answered, pushing Max toward the door. Buyer beware: Next time you're heading to the mall, leave your firearms, your nuclear devices, and by all means your notebook at home.
BEST DOOMED MAIDEN VOYAGE
The Ocean Jewel
The Ocean Jewel's short, and ultimately disastrous, career started on an ominous Friday night back in October. This was before they'd instituted the shuttles (you know, the ones that kept smacking into bridges), and the trip was to take eight hours all told. Still, the salivating public, having been baited with ads for over a year, was willing to endure. And then they were asked to endure more. The boat got marooned just feet from the dock, unable to park in the high winds. When the boozed-up crowd finally disembarked at 5 a.m. — 12 hours after they'd boarded — most promised they'd never come back. Turns out it wasn't much of a choice: The Ocean Jewel stopped operating out of St. Petersburg and eventually filed for bankruptcy.
BEST EXAMPLE OF GAY PRIDE IN ACTION
Nadine Smith and the Equality Florida team
After Mme. Storms made her stand against gay pride, there was no doubt a temptation among activists to fight bile with bile. Instead, Equality Florida Executive Director Nadine Smith took the high road. A charismatic public speaker, she urged the gay community not to answer hatred with hatred, but to work constructively. And that's what Equality Florida has done. Partnering with artists and businesses in projects like "Just Say Know" (see Mary Mulhern's picks in Best of the Bay/Arts & Entertainment) and reaching out through e-mail campaigns and meet-ups, EF consistently offers strong, reasoned and moving statements about the contributions gays and lesbians make to Hillsborough County and to Florida, and the hurtful effect of a policy that goes out of its way to exclude them. Smith's positive example makes the Storms troopers look that much more negative and shortsighted by comparison. www.eqfl.org.
BEST LOCAL ATHLETE
Winky Wright
Just a couple of years ago, we in the Best of the Bay laboratory would have been debating over which Buc — Sapp? Brooks? Barber? — would bag this prize. Or perhaps which skater: St. Louis? Lecavalier? The landscape changed when our football team tanked the last couple of seasons and the Lightning went out of commission due to an NHL strike. But we're not giving Winky a default award. Last November, he beat Shane Mosley in a rematch (he won the first fight) in the 154-pound weight class. Then in May, he moved up to middleweight (160) and absolutely dismantled the heavily favored Felix Trinidad. Winky, who grew up in St. Pete and still calls the 'burg home, does not possess a dazzling style or knockout prowess. The guy just wins — wins with great defense, a relentless jab, ring generalship, quiet toughness and class. If we gave runner-up awards in this category, they'd go to Jeff Lacy and Antonio Tarver. Both are boxers as well.
BEST REALITY SHOW STAR
Mary Delgado, The Bachelor IV and VI
The Bay area has become the location to pull lively (and oftentimes whacked-out) reality show contestants. Mary Delgado has not only been the most triumphant of these, but she's managed to appear on the same reality show twice without losing face. Shortly after admitting to Bob Guiney — the wife-seeking subject of ABC's The Bachelor IV — that he could be the love of her life, the Tampa resident was left hangin', dismissed by the bachelor in the rose ceremony like the 22 women that came before her. In the series' sixth installment, Delgado returned as one of two women set up on a "mystery date" with bachelor Byron Velvick. Despite her late entry into the game, she snagged the professional bass fisherman. Guess there's just something about Mary. The couple has plans to wed next spring.
BEST PROFESSOR
Dr. Deby Lee Cassill, USF-St. Petersburg
The Department of Environmental Science & Policy is unquestionably enriched with Dr. Cassill's scientific wisdom. Aside from holding a doctorate in biology and boasting more than a decade's worth of experience, the professor has done extensive research on fire ants and pest management, written a myriad of scholarly papers as a result, received almost $25,000 in grants for various research projects, won a handful of distinguished awards, and appeared in numerous noteworthy science publications. Despite her star status in the world of science, Dr. Cassill is a down-to-earth, energetic and engaging professor. As clichéd as it sounds, she really does make learning fun — she has a natural ability to translate ideas and information without losing her students' attention, and spices up typically tedious data with hands-on labs, field trips to nearby parks and a genuine enthusiasm for what she's doing.
BEST BARTENDERS
Rob and Alice, the Swigwam
For a collective four decades, Rob Williams and Alice Aitken-Kloss have been slinging beers at St. Pete Beach's Swigwam bar. They nail down the weekend shift, when the place overflows and swells out onto the sand. Their Bloody Mary on Sunday morning is sublime — spicy, peppery, and enough hair of the dog to take the edge off your headache and the blur out of your eyes. The frozen rumrunner also packs a wallop but goes down easy. Williams and Aitken-Kloss' style is no-style: low-key, friendly, efficient and able to juggle tourists, bikers, regulars and beach newbies without breaking too much of a sweat. 6300 Gulf Blvd., St. Pete Beach, 727-360-0889 (behind the Travelodge; parking is available on weekends at the Shells lot next door).
BEST POLISH MOTHER-DAUGHTER BARTENDING TEAM
Ania Dumler (mother) and Ania Kuitowska (daughter), Uptown Bar
The Ania duo, who hit near-celebrity status in the last year, are the perfect mother-daughter bartending team. Ania Sr. is the talker — stand at the bar for even a second after you've gotten your change and you're in for the long haul. Ania Jr. tends to keep to herself, but will always shoot you a smile as you belly up. Both blondes with heavy Polish accents, the Anias wear the same clothes and dance to the same crappy music that blasts night after night. Uptown's beer prices may fluctuate on occasion, but Ania and Ania are consistently charming. 658 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727-463-0567.
BEST WAY TO BECOME A CELEB
Become a barista
In this land of gated communities and tinted windows, it's tough to do any satisfying celebrity spotting. Sure, you might catch sight of Randy "Macho Man" Savage at a stop sign, or The Donald at some promotional event, but those moments are few and far between. And with Warren Sapp gone, do any local athletes really rate? (Well, maybe Gruden.) To make up for it, star-searching locals have turned to the young and vaguely alternative faces of Starbucks to get their fix. Ever been in a bar when the local Frappuccino slinger walked in? Heads turn, skirts rise, hair gets even more gelled. "There he/she is," they'll whisper. "I didn't know they actually lived here. Wow." The rock star life isn't for everyone. But if you're looking for some fame — or at least some local first name recognition — go ahead and throw on the green frock. It works. Starbucks Coffee Shops are, of course, everywhere. Walk out your door and look left, you'll see one.`
This article appears in Sep 21-27, 2005.