Everyone has a Gasparilla experience to share. I have several, and still don't know what all the hubbub is about.

Gasparilla, 1993: I'm 13 years old, hanging with my aunt and uncle and their kids and their friends and their friends' kids. I'm not angst ridden, just curious and excited about having a prime spot right up front. Then the parade begins and I'm pushed aggressively aside by a large, sweaty, yelling dude grabbing for beads, and after the fifth time his nasty body grease rubs against my once-clean tee, I give up and relocate to a more obscured view. That night I ponder what all the fuss is about.

2000: I try again with my Delewarian boyfriend and his Ohian friend, both jocks at heart, both far too excited about drinking beer, catching beads and seeing boobs. I have to pee even before the parade starts, and beg very nicely to use the bathroom of a couple who are actually house-sitting. They go through a moment of we-really-shouldn't-be-doing-this before letting me in. The cycle begins again a short while later and I decide to stop drinking after discovering a half-hour wait for a Port-o-Pottie that doesn't even have paper. I soon learn of the pissing free-for-all in the back streets and alleys along Bayshore, find a cozy little corner that isn't already urine-stained and empty my bladder. Once done, I half-heartedly try to catch beads, walk around aimlessly waiting for crazy, post-parade traffic to lighten, and eventually arrive home tired and dissatisfied, wondering what all the fuss is about.

2004: I reluctantly accept a co-worker's invitation to a Gasparilla party at her house, which is conveniently located within eyesight of Bayshore. We enjoy some eating, drinking and general Gasparilla carousing before our party heads toward the racket. Walking briefly up and down a stretch of Bayshore, I notice a chain-link fence (new feature?) that makes it near impossible to catch beads anywhere other than in designated (and very crowded) areas. I catch a peek of a few pirates and soon decide it's time to go while there's plenty of time to spare. Home again, knees aching, looking indifferently at the few beads I collected, I decide that, though I've never had a bad time, generally speaking, I've never enjoyed myself enough to warrant ever attending Gasparilla again.

While I may have retired from the Gasparilla Parade activities, more than 150,000 folks are still checking it out every year. If you aren't jaded, and can handle an almost impossible parking situation, lots of drunks, high-flying beads and fake coins, dense crowds and plenty of noise, then this is the event for you.

Southwest Airlines Gasparilla Pirate Fest 2006

Jose Gaspar and his band of marauding buccaneers return to Tampa this Saturday, Jan. 28, to re-enact the pseudo-historic pirate invasion that began in 1904 after Tampa's social and civic leaders adopted the pirate as patron rogue of the city-wide celebration. The events occur as follows:

The Gasparilla Pirate Fest Invasion Brunch features a buffet, cash bar, live entertainment and reserved seats for a great view of the invasion. 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m. ($49 adults/$39 children 3-12), Tampa Convention Center, 333 S. Franklin St., downtown Tampa, 813-353-8108.

At 11:30 a.m., the Jose Gasparilla appears at the south end of Hillsborough Bay and, joined by a multitude of pleasure craft (otherwise known as the Gasparilla Flotilla), the ship sails north across the bay into Seddon Channel between Davis and Harbour Islands, where it docks at 1 p.m. Following the "successful" invasion, pirates gather on Bayshore Boulevard for a victory parade.

At 2 p.m., the 3.5-mile Gasparilla Parade of 90 floats, 14 marching bands, 30 participating Krewes and roughly a billion drunken businessmen departs from Bayshore and Bay to Bay boulevards, moves north along Bayshore to the Platt Street bridge, continues east on Channelside Drive, turns north on Florida Avenue to Jackson Street, then east on Jackson to Marion Street. You can elbow your way to a view anywhere along these stretches, or pay $24 for reserved seating (813-353-8108).

Throughout the day, the 2006 Southwest Airlines Pirate Fest offers three stages of live entertainment and a Gasparilla Midway of games, rides and amusements for all to enjoy along Franklin Street, from Whiting to Brorein.

Gasparilla Invasion Stage

Bayshore Boulevard and Platt Street

10 a.m. Quick Shot Paulo

11:30 a.m. Saint Tone

1 p.m. Pride

5:30 p.m. Citizen Kane

Gasparilla Pirate Fest Stage

Brorein Street and Florida Avenue

10:30 a.m. North 2 South

Noon Big Fish

1:30 p.m. Erin Gill

5:45 p.m. Mark Wills