"POT" HEAD
Killing off the hottest GUY ON LOST
Amends can be made in the form of some Jack-on-Sawyer action.
CHECKERS' 99-CENT APPLE PIES
No, seriously. Get one, you'll see.
LIFELONG SMOKERS SITTING THROUGH SIN CITY WITHOUT DUCKING OUT FOR A BUTT
Climbing Everest is easier.
BLOGGER PHOTOSHOPS TERRI SCHIAVO'S FACE ONTO PANCAKE
Somewhere, the Virgin Mary's agent instructs his secretary to hold all his calls.
THE BIG BENTO BOX OF UNUSELESS JAPANESE INveNTiONS
Sharper Image was never this cool. Chindogu rocks!
SARAH VOWELL
The author's promotional schedule for Assassination Vacation makes God look like a shut-in.
I-275 SOUTH, ON THE ST. PETE SIDE OF THE HOWARD FRANKLAND, AFTER 9 P.M.
Anybody who doesn't understand road rage hasn't been there lately.
KEVIN FEDERLINE
At least his sperm seem motivated to make something of themselves.
GRAVE-ROBBING VERMONT TEEN SWIPES SKULL TO MAKE A BONG
What, the head shop wasn't open?
THUNDER 103.5 GOES COUNTRY
Pleeeeeeeease, can we hear "Stairway to Heaven" just one more time? Pleeeeeeeease!
-Compiled by Weekly Planet staff
This article appears in Apr 20-26, 2005.