Well, our nation's outgoing president gave his final Sate of the Union address last night. So what did you think? Oh, you didn't watch it? You were … what? What the hell is Growler Pong?

Hillsborough County commissioners supported the highly controversial idea of pumping water from the Morris Bridge Sink into the Hillsborough River, even though the idea is controversial because it's so woefully shortsighted as to be stupid. You see, when there's less water in an area, THERE'S LESS WATER IN AN AREA.

Over in St. Pete, cops kicked off a program targeting pedestrians, bicycles and motorists that began with handing out educational pamphlets to folks stopped for traffic infractions, but will soon transition to hefty fines. We've got just one thing to say about this: IT'S REACTION GIF TIME.

Uh oh: The U.S. Supreme Court has found Florida's death penalty system to be unconstitutional, in that it puts too much responsibility in the hands of judges and not enough in the hands of juries. That sound you hear is a hot tub limo full of drunken appeals lawyers screaming joyful obscenities through megaphones and into their phones as they plan to rent out Disney World for the weekend.

And finally, micro-airline Allegiant announced it will begin offering super-cheap one-way fairs between Clearwater-St. Pete International Airport and New Orleans. Which means you only have to pay $39 for the pleasure of having your non-airworthy plane turn around 2 minutes after takeoff so that you can not die. Party.

This article appears in Jan 7-13, 2016.