Welcome to Thursday. It's almost Friday! As you'll see below, the city of Tampa had a Palm Beach firm redesign its website rather than hiring somebody local, and keeping its money in the region. Make of that what you will; I did.
A St. Pete judge denied big-city Manhattan news-and-gossip site Gawker's motion to dismiss the lawsuit brought against it by Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea in the wake of the site's posting of a video of Bollea having sex with Bubba The Love Sponge Clem's wife. Gawker claims the drawn-out suit has been irreparably tainted by Hulk's increasingly contradictory statements over the course of the proceedings, but the judge thinks somebody should defend at least one thing that came out of Florida, and/or is a dyed-in-the-wool Hulkamaniac. Related editorial expression: Ugh. Sorry about your childhood hero and and all, but that guy "raised" a family that makes the Hiltons' sense of entitlement look like the kid in Oliver Twist who just asked for enough food to stay alive.
The city of Tampa's website got a $77,000 facelift. It looks good, but should we argue over the fact that they hired a firm out of Palm Beach rather than a local, or that it closely resembles some templates we've seen fleshed out for five grand and a case of local craft beer?
Rick Scott came to Tampa, and nobody pummeled him with a Cuban sandwich. And here I thought we were nurturing the creative class...
A "months-long" investigation into a St. Pete drug house resulted in the arrests of four people. Months. Four people. An undisclosed amount of drugs recovered (code for "not enough to boast about"), and $1,000 in cash. Sounds profitable.
And finally, Ted Cruz has been endorsed by the fame-seeking faux-backwoods cretins of Duck Dynasty. If you need that positioned a different way, some bearded punchlines have been afforded enough pop-culture currency to assume the world cares about their presidential pick. And the world cares! The world made it news. I just repeated it. Excuse me while I go in search of one of those suicide booths Bender spoke so highly of.