Who's ready for the weekend? Not so fast, there, you productivity-sapping gate-jumpers — first, in keeping with the season, you must survive that final jump-scare return of The Thursday That Wouldn't Die, even though you shot Thursday, like, seven times, and Thursday's been laying there on your kitchen floor for five minutes while you went over its whole thwarted evil scheme with your friends.

A job fair for positions at Amazon's impending "Fulfillment Center" in Ruskin drew hundreds. The company reportedly intends to hire 100,000 workers nationwide, including seasonal help; of course, Prime members will find out an average of three days earlier than regular applicants whether or not they landed a position.

Burglars stole more than 40 firearms from a Tampa gun shop. Wow — I really do feel safer knowing more people out there are going to have more guns.

The team behind St. Pete's new Pier Park treated the city council to a 3D model of the design. "Wow," said one council member, "you really can almost smell the ongoing criticism from a small but vocal minority of citizens who can't let anything go."

An Auburndale couple has been arrested and accused of being "neighbors from hell," but they didn't send a note implying they might eat your kids, so, really, how bad could they be?

And finally, Asian futuro-pervs are bummed: the Malaysian government has put the kibosh on a planned "Congress on Love and Sex with Robots." How much of a science-fiction lifestyle are we living these days? Well, let's just say the article includes the word "teledildonics."

This article appears in Oct 22-28, 2015.