Looking for something to talk about while waiting to use the office Keurig this morning? We're your huckleberry:
The House of Representatives passed a bill that would add additional measures to the vetting process for refugees coming to America from Syria and Iraq. The bill also includes provisions for altering the Statue of Liberty's appearance to give her a more suspicious and forbidding facial expression, along with a sidearm.
Students at Harvard discovered that portraits of black professors had been vandalized, with strips of black tape covering the individuals' faces. "We believe this may have been a reaction to the recent rally supporting African-American students and addressing their concerns about equality on campus," said Professor Derf of the Department of Obvious Connections.
The FDA cleared the farming of genetically engineered salmon for human consumption. Just try to think "super powers" instead of "horrible new lethal diseases," OK, ya damned cycnic? Sheesh.
And finally, former Subway spokesperson and convicted pederast Jared Fogle was sentenced to nearly 16 years in prison. Rather than go with an easy and tasteless prison-sex joke, we'd simply like to suggest that folks not engage in sexual acts with minors or distribute child pornography, OK?
This article appears in Nov 19-25, 2015.