Reaching the end of the week just doesn't seem as exciting or full of potential when you've been chasing gin with ground-up Ativan to the Dischord Records early catalog for 56 hours already.
Protestors once again took to the streets of Ybor City and downtown Tampa to register their dissatisfaction with America's new president-elect. "They'll get bored after a few days and give it up," said someone who's never heard of the Sixties.
Pasco deputies ended up having to save a moron who led them on a vehicular pursuit after said moron jumped out of his car and into a canal, and nearly drowned. "Thank you," said the moron, who will likely be tackled by a Walmart security guard for trying to shoplift a can of shaving cream within two weeks' time.
The manager of an East Tampa barber shop was arrested and charged with selling drugs out of the business after nearly 3 pounds of pot was found alongside smaller quantities of coke and meth. Do you think the code phrase was "I'm into the fade" or "I just really need to take a little off the top"?
And finally, Leonard Cohen, the immensely, immensely talented and unique Canadian singer-songwriter and poet, passed away at the age of 82. Because the universe thought you maybe had it a little too easy this week.
This article appears in Nov 10-17, 2016.