Good morning! Remember yesterday? No, I don't want to either, but there might be a test on it or something, so…
In the wake of a 20-year-old Port Richey man identifying himself as the Mega Millions lottery winner, cretins are creating fake social media accounts claiming to be him and that he's giving away a lot of the money to strangers. They ought to be ashamed — not for trying to prank or scam people on social media, but just for aiming so low. Tricking the greedy and gullible online is basically the digital equivalent of clubbing baby seals, after the baby seals have been tied up and promised they're going to be rich.
Speaking of not being able to recognize which online interactions are a bad idea, a Pasco County man who responded to a Craigslist ad from a woman looking for a sexual partner was robbed by her boyfriend in a fake prostitution sting. Were these people just sort of always getting free sex and money before the internet? Is that why they're confused? And if not, what gave them the idea that the internet is populated by super-cool humanitarians just looking to give away cash and slams? It's just a place to sell your stuff and yell about social assistance programs and make fun of people who don't know when something's too good to be true.
Florida's Committee on Hurricane Response and Preparedness, created in the wake of Irma, has produced a list of around 80 ways the state could improve before the next hurricane season. Some of them are actually pretty good, so, you know — good luck with that.
And finally, Kid Rock is headlining the NHL All-Star Game concert in Tampa this year during the game's second intermission. Which is kind of like finding out the between-course palate cleanser at the two-Michelin-star restaurant you've waited your whole life to get into is gonna be a soggy half-smoked joint served on a urinal cake.
This article appears in Jan 11-18, 2018.