What did you do yesterday? If your answer isn't "accidentally obliterated half of Seminole Heights' first mural" or "got suspended for a job infraction I totally should've been fired for," your Thursday might've been a little better than some others' Thursdays.
Code Enforcement workers for the city of Tampa apparently mistook Seminole Heights' beloved "Mandala" street mural for graffiti and covered half of it with asphalt before being stopped by residents. Training manual thickness and common sense: They're inversely proportional!
There's nothing more American than the speed with which we segued from relief at the arrest of a suspect in the Seminole Heights shootings to wondering whether or not the McDonald's employee who handed the gun to a police officer was gonna get that sweet, sweet reward — except maybe the way certain parties balked and dithered and cited bureaucratic protocols as possible reasons not to pay out. To paraphrase an ancient Jerry Seinfeld bit, expense was not a concern when you sat down to eat; don't start balking at the bill once the meal is over.
Four Pinellas County Sheriff's Office deputies have been suspended for neglecting their duties during Hurricane Irma. The depth of the officers' neglect ranged from leaving work early to flat-out not reporting for duty. Remember when some Largo sanitation truck drivers were fired for the same thing? One might think a job of even greater importance during emergency situations might carry even greater consequences for dereliction of duty, should one be so naive as to assume civilization ran on logic and fairness.
And finally, here's a headline: "Flamin' Hot Mac N' Cheetos Coming to Burger King." If anybody needs me I'll be in the end of the boat that's sinking fastest.
This article appears in Nov 30 – Dec 7, 2017.