Good morning. Here's your daily juddering time machine that only seems to hop back a few hours to point and laugh at something.
A new "Definitive and Final Ranking of all 50 States" by Thrillist, a site given to doing such things, placed Florida dead last. Having seen our state place in the Top 20 in previous Thrillist rankings for food and beer, however, we're gonna have to go ahead and call Thrillist fickle and cliched and clickbaity and yeah also probably accurate about everything.
A 29-year-old Pasco County "man" punched and disfigured a puppy's nose because the puppy nipped at him. What's the point of having frozen human waste sometimes fall from airplanes if it never hits the right people?
Speaking of airplanes, a guy was arrested over the weekend for breaking into Davis Islands' Peter O. Knight Airport and trying to steal two of 'em, while creating an insane and insanely stupid wake of chaos. Seriously, read the article's description of his activities — this is basically a 28-year-old toddler mistaking really expensive machines for toys in a sandbox.
A report on structural deficiency in bridges nationwide includes three Bay area spans, but we can get over this.
And finally, in incremental national gestures, the Cleveland Indians announced they will remove the obviously racist caricature "Chief Wahoo" from their uniforms in 2019, but not from merchandise available for sale, because something something trademark ownership requirements. Why is it important that they retain the trademark? Because if they don't make money selling a now-familiar offensive racial stereotype to people who think it's funny, somebody else will. At least they understand what's important.
This article appears in Jan 25 – Feb 1, 2018.
