*Closes eyes tightly and tries to remember the dream, before opening them again to confirm that, yeah, it's just Wednesday*
Three-year-old German shorthaired pointer CJ took the Best in Show honors at the 140th Westminster Kennel Club dog show at Madison Square Garden. What's weirder, that we've been doing this fancy dog thing for nearly a century and a half, or that this year's winner wasn't named something like Eldodd Copernicus Maximilian de Gondrey? Sooner or later, everything fancy turns into The Beer Mile.
Sharks! They're back in our waters! And our news outlets! Because of nature, duh.
Remember that 23-year-old Lakeland woman who livestreamed herself driving drunk all over town via that app Periscope that was so hot for about three weeks back in October? Yeah, she won't be doing any jail time. Not that I think everyone convicted of drunk driving should — I just think that maybe taking a very, very extended selfie while doing it and basically globally broadcasting a tutorial on the subject is maybe something a little … more?
And finally, South Dakota's state senate just passed the nation's first anti-transgender student bathroom bill, which basically restricts facilities by "biological sex," and arbitrarily defines "biological sex" as "the physical condition of being male or female as determined by a person’s chromosomes and anatomy as identified at birth." Way to make the traumatic-by-default teen years even more scarring for the kids they're already pretty much the worst for, South Dakota!
(Image by Flikr user lilisaliture via Creative Commons license.)
This article appears in Feb 11-17, 2016.