Here's something to divert your attention from the, well, you know. And if you need further diversion (and like both clicking around the web and noisy, gas-smell-belching things), St. Pete Grand Prix tickets go on sale today.
How many days has it been since a Bay area kid was arrested for threatening violence in or against their high school? One. It has been one day.
Speaking of explosions, a Pinellas County woman is claiming her iPhone caught fire on her nightstand, just inches from her face, while she was sleeping. And once again, it's time to play You Pick The Punchline! Would you rather this bit end with a "blowing up her phone" joke, or an unsettling, nihilistic non sequitur about how the world is dying and nothing matters anyway? Let us know in the comments!
The Lightning are still playing hockey! Well, they're still going out on the ice and facing an opposing team — we're not sure you could actually call what they're doing "playing hockey." Zing!
And finally, a violent New Port Richey dumbasss was arrested for robbing a Boost Mobile store at knifepoint after cops found the receipt with his EBT card number on it that he threw away at the scene of the crime. I mean, it's good to know the guy's committed to getting off public assistance, but there's a line, bro.
This article appears in Jan 26 – Feb 2, 2017.