It was truly a beautiful weekend, one of those strung-together series of gorgeous days unbroken by poor weather or catastrophe. And how do we celebrate its passing, honor its fleeting presence in our all-too-empty lives? By going back to the cubicle, of course!

FRIDAY, MARCH 4:

After nearly three decades, Ybor City restaurant (and CL downstairs neighbor) Spaghetti Warehouse announced it will be closing after a final dinner service this Wednesday. The area's prom and elderly-walking-tour industries are expected to flail, but ultimately recover when they find a new place to drop people off and then pick them up.

The LAPD is looking into a knife reportedly found on the grounds of acquitted double-murder suspect OJ Simpson's estate back in the '90s, and supposedly in the possession of a now-retired officer since then. A situation that both brings the OJ trial back into the spotlight AND makes the LAPD look like corrupt idiots? Man, lazy FM-radio morning show hosts must be STOKED.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5:

A private two-seater airplane was forced to make an emergency landing on the 12th fairway of a St. Pete golf course. Early reports that the pilot was just a doctor trying to get all of his hobbies in between surgeries turned out to be false, if entirely plausible.

The Tampa Bay Lightning won their 9th consecutive game, setting a new club record. Hey, wanna guess what happened when they won eight in a row?

SUNDAY, MARCH 6:

And finally, a report says role model, really all-around suave guy and LA Rams running back Tre Mason was tasered and arrested in Hollywood, FL after what really, if the report is accurate, sounds like him being a bit of a dick to local cops. Pro athletes rule, man.

This article appears in Mar 3-9, 2016.