Let's take a quick tour of Thursday before lunch beers.
So people and media around here are freaking out because Vladimir Putin's version of a State of the Union Address included a video of new weapons technology that seemed to show missiles raining down on Central Florida. OMG, so many possible punchlines. Should we go with the one about how everybody in every other state in the U.S. is willing to pitch in on a GoFundMe to make this happen, the one about how the program is retribution for Disney Moscow never coming together and is called Operation Better Mousetrap, or the one about how guests at Mar-A-Lago wouldn't experience any real difference in the quality of service? The mind, it reels.
A man was detained yesterday for carrying a concealed weapon onto USF's Tampa campus. He had a valid permit, but as our state's institutions of learning don't resemble an embassy in '80s Beirut just yet, and it's still illegal to carry there, you could say he, er, jumped the gun a bit.
A woman who had a sex video stolen off her phone by an employee at a Pinellas Park T-Mobile store last May is suing the store and the employee, who was sentenced to six months for the crime. Why did she have a sex video on her phone in the first place? Because there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it's nobody else's business in any case. But ALWAYS ASSUME THE CREEPY PHONE STORE GUY IS GOING THROUGH YOUR SHIT.
And finally, the story broke yesterday that local artist Jared Hernandez was arrested on Tuesday for defacing a sign outside a St. Pete painter's business. Hernandez's social media activity and a January podcast appearance lend the impression he's been on a tear about St. Pete's mural scene devaluing art in the area, and he's been accused by several people online of being the mural vandal. Either way, drawing glasses and a mustache on a picture of a guy's face doesn't seem like a particularly clear, creative or effective way to make a point about… anything, really.
This article appears in Mar 1-8, 2018.
