If I could ask just one thing of all of you before we break for this long weekend, let it be this: Don't end up in Sh*t Happened next week because you blew your fool fingers off, OK?
A 23-year-old man was charged with felonies related to falsely claiming to be a military veteran — after using forged discharge documents to try to get work as a pool cleaner. We're not saying that's not a respectable job by any means, but it does seem a little like going to all the trouble of inventing your own time machine, then using it to go back and catch the first ten minutes of yesterday's The View.
In other news, USF finally fired that guy it hired without doing even enough due diligence to discover he was having his tenure at Texas Tech revoked for "inappropriate relations" with multiple students. I think we all know a couple of pool cleaning services that would have uncovered that shit about five minutes into the hiring process…
And finally, Rick Scott has added Lee and Palm Beach to the growing list of Florida counties qualifying for "state of emergency" status over massive algae blooms caused by the Lake Okeechobee sugar-water runoff disaster. Sweet.
This article appears in Jun 30 – Jul 7, 2016.
